Okay, 7am isn’t all that early for some people, but for me getting up at 7am is like rolling out of bed at 4am for the people that get up at 5am? Confused? Me too. I’m not making much sense yet this morning, if I ever did.
I’m going to be out of the office this morning – which means I won’t post 8000 things today – probably to the disappointment of my multitude of fans [mainly myself]. Seeing as how I feel it’s my civic duty to entertain you unwashed masses, plus the fact that it’s too early to think of anything halfassed smart, I have devised a little contest to keep you placated while I’m away if you want to play along.
Okay, the task this morning to keep you entertained is to find the funny Portuguese guy I pissed off enough to leave a hilarious and bizarre comment in this blog.
Give up yet?
Alright, fair enough. Here he is.
Alright Portugal, I didn’t REALLY have anything against you before, but as of the other day when this comment was left, you and I are officially at war. And I bet I could take you myself because I don’t have siestas – that’s when I’ll get you guys.
Things I Hate About Portugal:
- It just sits there like a wart attached to Spain’s beautiful, sexy nose. Get the fuck out of the way, Portugal. We can’t see her [Spain] boobs easily across the Atlantic with your greasy melon in the way.
- Your language fucked up South America. C’mon, half the continent speaks Portuguese, half of it speaks Spanish. WTF? It’s your fault that people are crazy in that messed up continent.
- What’s with all the ‘th’ lispy sounds in Portuguese? It’s like everyone there is going to audition for home/person makeover show hosts.
- What’s with all the fishermen there? People still do that? Fuck, leave fish alone. Fish shouldn’t be eaten – ever. Get it through your heads.
- Your cobbled, narrow streets are dangerous and inadequate.
- You had half the new world in your hands at one time, but you fucked up and now have nothing except for a little chunk of dusty soil on the farthest, most extreme tip of Europe. Whassamatter Portugal, can’t handle the power? No, I thought so.
Well that’s about all I can think of.
And fuck you Lethoso – I’m coming for you next, you little island of a nation, you.
Wow that is some serious Portuguese hate there. The outstanding memories I have of Portugal is a) it was beautiful and b) people drove like blind men on acid. It’s like road markings are “suggestions”.
That’s pretty funny but I’m sure it’s not the first time you pissed someone off. No, in fact I’m positive it isn’t, but is that your very first death threat? NIIICCE!
Also, can you check my ass out today. (oops.. I mean my blog) and help a sista out we bein’ bitches an all.
I got a similar angry comment once when I was joking about the city of Gary, Indiana. I decided to let it go. As far as I was concerned, the guy had suffered enough, living in Gary and all.
The only time something like this happened to me was when I made fun of Billy Joel’s teenage wife, Katie. I’m pretty sure it was either her or him that commented, not because I think I’m important enough to warrant a comment from a celebrity/pseudo celebrity, but whoever it was SURE took it personally. No threats of bodily harm, but I bet she REALLY wanted to bitch-slap me.
Hi-larity.
I know nothing about Portugal, but I like Port wine, so there you go. Oh, and I like their sausages.
That sounded dirty- I’m o.k. with that.
I’ve gotten angry comments from a lot of people. Sadly, none of them have been from Portugal, but most of them couldn’t really speak English. Or they couldn’t type it, at least.
By the way, I can’t believe someone typed over my “Joe the Plumber Touched My Ballcock” sign up there. That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on your blog, if I do say so myself.
i lost my virginity to a portugese fisherman
Haaaaaahaha! You just sick burned portugal……notice I did not capitalize it. It’s un-deserved.
There are so many comments here and I just woke up from a nap, so I’m just going to say “I wholeheartedly agree” and then go and fool around doing something else for the time being.
Beckeye: I fixed it. (can’t stop giggling!)
What’d you say, Dan? Oh yeah . . . Portugal blows goats.
You never pay attention any more.
The best part of this post is the “Obligatory” Google Ad to the side that’s apparently based on the content I am reading, because right now the ad is “Teach Yourself Portuguese.”
Hahah
Hahaha, awesome!
Holy shit, my google ad now says, “Algarve Long Stays 2009″ like I’m going to holiday in Portugal!