- Elton John
Does this guy look tough to you? No. What a pantywaist.
- Mia Farrow
- Wayne Newton
- Weird Al
- That sickly looking kid from the movie “Road Trip”. DJ Jazzy Quayle or something like that.
- Vin Diesel
- Paris Hilton
- Randy Quaid AND Danny Devito at the same time!
- Linda Ronstadt
- Winona Ryder
- Dee Snyder (see how Dee Snyder and Wynna Ryder rhyme? That was subconscious.)
- Hulk Hogan’s wife (and daughter, or are they the same thing?)
- Bobby Fischer
- The Mac guy in the PC vs. Mac ads. I’d beat him up twice if I had the chance.
- Suge Knight
- Edward James Olmos. Kidding, he could take me, I think.
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Disclaimer
Everything here is a work of satire and fiction. Any resemblances to people, alive or dead, real or fictional, is purely coincidence even if it looks like it's not, or even when I explicitly say it's not, because I have poor judgement.
If you find this blog offensive, please leave and never come back, ever. Returning if you're offended is about the most retarded thing you can do.
If you're here to build a court case against me, fuck off. You're not allowed to be here.
Before you jihad me, realize that I don't even believe the things I say. For real. It's all a big sham. Thanks for visiting though. -
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18 Comments
Write a Comment»I would like to see you and Suge in a fight…
Hang on - I updated the post! See? He’s a pussy!
Vin Diesel might be a challenge though - his final finishing move is called “The Bad Actor” and that makes him kinda iffy. Still, I bet I could at least hurt him pretty bad.
Dude, Vin Diesel? I mean, I haven’t seen you in your tighty whities or anything, but unless you’ve got some serious gunnage and legs to match, I’m kind of thinking Vin might take you.
Now if you were fighting a battle of wits you’d probably win hands down. But that’s another fight for another day.
Vin Diesel? He’s so weak he can’t even finish pronouncing his first name!
I’m only kidding of course. Vin Diesel would kill me, but I think I could probably bite him a couple times really hard. (Can’t pull his hair though…)
I’m also kidding about Mia Farrow. I don’t think I could beat her up.
You forgot the E-Harmony guy.
No good list can stand up to a Fight Club reference.
William Shatner (Even with the gun).
I think Will Smith would be a good fight, I probably double his weight but he’s in shape and has good reach. If I got him on the ground it would be over in seconds. “Welcome to earth” Pow!
Sorry, sweetie, I thing Dee Snyder could take you. He’s pretty buff.
I think I (or you) could really beat the crap out of the e-harmony boys but personally, I think I might like to have my lustful way with the apple guy - you can have your way with the PC guy…stomp him in the ground for all I care…actually, I think because of VISTA he deserves to be stomped into the ground..
I think Weird Al could take you. He’d get you in the head with that accordion first thing. BAM!
Bobby Fischer isn’t gonna put up much of a fight seeing as he’s dead. Unless you’re talking about a different Bobby Fischer. Either way, I think you could take him.
Yo man, Weird Al is NUTS! You wouldn’t last 2 seconds. You ain’t fat! You ain’t nothin’!
DB: Ah man, that’s the perfect way to punch Will Smith!!
Fancy: But…he wears makeup….doesn’t that disqualify him from being tough?
Augusto: Well, you do your thing to the Mac guy - I’m always on the side of PC when I see those commercials so maybe we’ll go for coffee until you’re done. Then can I beat him up?
Leonesse: No, accessroies aren’t allowed for my opponents. He could strngle me with his hair though.
SG: Oh right, I forgot about that minor detail. ‘Minor’ because that’s what I’d need to be in order to find him now. (Get it? Like a ‘miner’ cause he’s buried?)
Beckeye: I don’t think he’d be all that tough. What’s he going to do, parody me to death?
Sh… my Sister could whip weird Al.
We are French/ German decent, A hearty lot.
Big burly Frenchmen.
http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000003/15819.jpg
Winona Ryder, are you sure?
While I would remain in your corner at all times during any of these fights - holding your spit bucket and towel, cheering you on like your very own Adrian! - I wish you’d reconsider the Randy Quaid AND Danny Devito fight. Those two constitute a big ball of crazy and crazy generally wins.
EJO could totally take you. Sorry.
That’s how Kurt Cobain died.
Gwen: If “crazy” = “tough” then “Dan” = “all the NHL in one guy”.
Red: Yeah, i figure he could too.
Becks: By marrying a murderous ho?