I’ve heard people’s stories about how their favorite toy was a GI Joe action figure, or a doll whose eyelids inexplicably opened themselves when it was subjected to a pitch of more than 45 degrees (remember THOSE frikking creepy things?), or maybe a Transformer whose Autobot color-changing label was rubbed into a state of malfunction by their owner’s excited and snotty fingers.
When I hear these stories, I think to myself, “Wow, you are one complicated and hip person.” (Usually because these people have combed their hair, nothing to do with their selection of toys as a child.)
See, my favorite toy as a child had far less depth to it. My favorite toy on planet earth as a kid was … ready for it? …. a rake. Are you overwhelmed? Are you shocked? Too tired from late night sexual relations to think?
Yeah, it’s true - I played with a worn out and broken down leaf rake. I’d tie a string around the handle and drag that sucker all over the yard and make plumes of dust that went so high they must have tickled God’s platinum-painted toenails (he’s a little strange when it’s sandal season).
My second favorite toy wasn’t really one particular object - it was more a class of objects, namely objects made of corrugated cardboard. Like, uhm, cardboard boxes. Yep, I loved cardboard boxes. Back when it was still okay for kids to play with knives and scissors, I would cut and tape cardboard boxes into whatever my imagination could dredge up. The General Lee? No problem, I could whip something fancy like that up in a matter of minutes.
My third favorite ‘toy’ wasn’t one particular toy either, it was string, twine, or rope. I would play with twine or string nonstop. I don’t remember what I would do with it in particular, I just remember that my mother would enter my bedroom and see strands of orange colored twine spanning from whatever object was high enough that I could anchor it to usually to the next highest object that I could anchor it to. I’m sure there were times I was trying to trap my mother with rope also, I have a mental image about tying someone’s ankles together while they were unconscious. No, wait, that was more recent…last week sort of recent. Never mind the last bit.
Yep, I was a simple child, no fancy toys for me. I had a great time, thankyouverymuch. And yes, I’m still comparatively simple 33 years later. Some things just stay with you.
13 Comments
Write a Comment»Mine was glitter
I loved boxes too! But I liked the big ones, from like the new refridge or the TV. I would make them into little forts with windows and sit in there and read or take a nap and store all my valuable collections of whatever. It strikes me as funny now because I tend to be slightly claustriphobic.
Wow. I’m sorry you were so dirt poor. Did the townspeople have to chip in and buy you and your brother Christmas gifts so you wouldn’t go without?
Tragic.
So what do you like to play with now?
No, I’m not too tired from late night sexual relations to think. Thanks for rubbing it in.
My favorite toy was plasticine. I’d make effigies of people I knew and stab them with a pin.
Um…I liked toy cars too though. I’d tie my dolls to the table and run them over. I had some issues. Maybe.
No wonder Zibbs picked you for his BFF… have you seen the amount of leaves in his yard?!
Haha @ Zibbs and MelO. My favorite things to play with were art supplies. Other than that, I was a tomboy and just beat the shit out of the neighborhood boys.
DZ: Did you ever play with those little plastic eyeballs that were made to glue to art projects? Fancy!
Candy: We were too poor to buy something of that magnitude. We DID get a water heater once and that came in a big tall box. But it was too narrow to do much with. Damn poverty.
Fally: No, they were just as po.
Winter: Um, leftovers?
Red: Oh whoops, sensitive subject.
Guvvy: You killer of dolls you. You should have made the dolls out of plastercine then you could kill them over and over.
MelO: Uhm, he hasn’t mentioned anything about that yet. Thanks for the heads up though, I’ll be moving that day.
I grew up in northern Idaho, yep I’v met some Canuks. I liked making sticks into guns and playing soldier. Next was tucking a bath towell in the back of my collar and running around in circles “Da da da da da da da da BATMAN!!!
No kidding when I was 5, I split firewood with a double bitted axe. It was an actual chore I was expected to do.
I wouldn’t trust my 23 year old with a double bitted axe, hell even a regular axe.
Times were diffefent I suppose or maybe poor people really don’t hold life as dear as regular folks.
How about snow tunnels Poo?
I liked paper but not the art supply kind. I liked receipt books and steno pads and carbon paper.
DB: Yeah, you can’t trust kids these days with anything pointier than a butter knife or they’ll end up cutting themselves and become addicted to THAT. I remember swinging around a giant chainsaw as a kid, mind you it was while I was killing my parents so it’s kinda like I did it without permission.
Northern Idaho? You’re practically Canadian yourself! Yeah, snow tunnels all the time - they’re easy ways to escape police.
Gwen: You must be an accountant now? What the heck do you do for a living, anyways?
I had paper dolls, but I pretended the clothes were people. There was much more diveristy that way.