As I write this, I’m considering going to my hotel lobby and eating their continental breakfast.
Continental breakfasts are the worst thing ever. They dangle scraps of what might be considered food if you were in Zimbabwe in front of you as a selling point for their rooms – and it always sounds good in theory, but only until you stand there with talkative elderly people first thing in the morning that would love nothing more to do than tell you about how their grandson in Topeka who ALSO loves coffee and in fact 10 years ago he started a missionary plantation in Panama because he loved coffee beans AND people AND Jesus so fucking much.
My dream, when I become the master of the universe, is to electrocute morning people first thing in the morning so that eventually they become conditioned to hating mornings and they stay in their bed until at least 10AM every day.
Also, I plan on making ‘continental breakfasts’ at least include scrambled eggs and sausage or bacon. And a ‘no talking’ policy, cause for people like me that’s an offensive act of terrorism to be all chatty with fucking strangers.
So like, umm, yeah. Wish me luck with those heathens, cause I just might go and get a bunch of mini muffins.
I can’t wait until you are master of the universe. It’s going to be so much fun!
I’m definitely voting for you as master of the universe.
Still enjoying the Fargo there dude?
Two words: Residence Inn.
MYO belgian waffles, dude. Every. Day.
I wonder if the hotel you’re staying at gives you THIS kind of a breakfast??
Let me know if you’re going to be at any hotels near me.
Oh come on now. Four words. Waffles, waffles, waffles and waffles. (Don’t count the “and” though or it’s five.) The only real worry at the continental breakfast bar is those bright coloured cereal things that look possibly nuclear.
Hey, at the Days Inn they let us make our own Belgian waffles! Also there were scrambled eggs. And bagels. And doughnuts. All in the free continental breakfast thingie. This must have been your magic at work!
Thank you for saying what everyone else has been scared to say – continental breakfasts and electrocution – it’s the happiest I’ve been in the morning in ages.
I used to temporarily live in this hotel establishment called Woodfin Suites (when our house burned down) and their idea of continental breakfast was just breakfast. You’d get scrambled eggs, bacon or sausage, juice or coffee, fresh fruit and a bread of sorts. Granted you’d have to go down to the bar/lounge to eat, but still, it was a real breakfast and it was free. I guess that’s why I’m always confused when people complain about continental breakfasts because their idea was different than others.
Crap. I’m a morning person.
I’m sorry.
I’m usually up at 4 am and on the treadmill by 4:30. Should I go into hiding now, Master of the Universe Elect? Or do I get a pardon because I’m one of your groupies?
Gwen: You just want to be a general in my army.
Augusto: For your vote, you get to be the senior intelligence officer in my army.
Shieldmaiden: Pancake type things give me the farts. Eggs are about the only breakfast food I can handle (apparently).
Melo: If they gave me that kind of breakfast, I probably wouldn’t leave.
Pixie: So you can come and kill me while I sleep? No thanks!
Veggiemax: Those generic fruit loops tasted like greasy anuses. But why didn’t you have any waffles, sucka?
Lidian: Those things all have flour in common – myself and flour do not get along well first thing in the morning.
Dale: It doesn’t have to be electrocution either – it can be a lobotomy. As long as there are some brain cells reconfigured somewhere.
Cora: As long as you make breakfast for those of us that get up later, you get a free pass. Don’t let your guard down though, I might choose to make an example out of you anyways.
Cool. Fruit Loops or Count Chocula?
Ummm, the kind with hash browns, bacon, and omlettes. Is that Fruit Loops?
Nah, I think that’s Muesli.