
This is the Great Red Spot. Some of you more familiar with extraterrestrial bodies (the ones that don’t involve insertion of proctological doodads) will automatically associate this image with the planet Jupiter. That is good, I like an audience that’s more intelligent than I am, pity is a powerful motivator.
The Great Red Spot is an atmospheric storm that exceeds the size of Earth by two or three times. For those of you that have a hard time grasping how large this is, it’s larger than Snoop Dog’s marijuana stash by at least 50% and Ashton Kutcher’s ego by as much as 15%. Winds in this region can reach as much as 430 km/hr, which translates roughly into 12 mph if my math is correct, making it one of the most tempestuous regions in the entire solar system aside from Paris Hilton’s genital region.
New technology has exceeded scientist’s expectations; with Spectral Happyfun Infrared Imaging Technology (S.H.I.I.T.) originally pioneered in Japan to see through schoolgirls’ outer clothing, we can now see through the storm and spy what lies behind it. The following image was taken last week by NASA, mere moments before they turned the equipment at the ladies bathroom walls (and thus forging ahead in the upskirt frontier).
(Don’t be mad, it was either that or increase funding to keep the astrogeek portion of NASA’s employee base happy. NASA, and in turn you the taxpayer, just saved millions.)
Did you expect little green men?
Sorry for breaking the news to you, these fuckheads appear to be everywhere.






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Write a Comment»That is my daddy in the straw hat. WTH?
I thought I accidentally stumbled upon someone’s astronomy blog untill I read “paris hilton’s genital region”…at which time I threw up in my mouth a little and breathed a sigh of relief. I’m at the right place after all…right?
Leonesse: He’s an astronaut now?
E: I think so…you wanted to see the bizarre use of swear words, right?
It’s good to see Daniel Boon survived the Alamo and is safely on Jupiter.
Wheeeww big sigh of relief.
Which planet is Elvis on? Uranus?
DB: This might be Jupiter Florida too, I never thought of that. Maybe Daniel Boone is retired?
I think Elvis is still on earth according to the Enquirer.
What is it about the bib overall that makes people hateful? Maybe they’re tight in the crotch or something.
I just noticed the “Special Thanks” box on the left. How long has that been there?
Gwen: They’re easy to get off and everything. I have no idea!
DB: It’s been there for days man, haha!