Top court backs free seat ruling for some disabled, obese travellers

The Supreme Court has upheld a regulatory ruling forcing Canadian airlines to offer a free extra seat to certain disabled and obese people.

In a decision released without comment Thursday, Canada’s top court rejected an application by Air Canada and WestJet for permission to appeal a Canadian Transportation Agency ruling issued earlier this year.

The court’s decision means airlines must offer a “one person, one fare” policy to disabled people who require room for an attendant during the flight or require extra room for a wheelchair, or for people who are clinically obese and take up more than one seat

Top court backs free seat ruling for some disabled, obese travellers.

I can just imagine the discussion when a morbidly obese person is ordering a ticket over the phone:

Big boned person: Yes, I will also need the two seats next to me to be empty.

Ticket agent:  We will have to charge you for these extra seats.

Big boned person: No, you can’t.  I’m fat.

Ticket agent:  How fat?

Big boned person: If I sat on you, I’d crush you.

Ticket agent:  But I’m pretty small.  Are you sure you wouldn’t just break a few bones?

Big boned person: No, I’m pretty sure you’d at least have internal injuries.

Ticket agent:  Okay, how much do you weigh and how tall are you?

Big boned person: I’m 5′7″ and 827 pounds.

Ticket agent:  Hold on one second … Okay … My supervisor directs me to ask you if that’s around the waist or like in your head or feet?

Big boned person: It’s around my waist.  Do you want me to send a picture?

Ticket agent:  Yes please…email it to us right now while we’re on the phone if you can.

Big boned person: Yes, I just sent it.

Ticket agent:  Okay, I have it now.  Are you sure a lot of this isn’t just … y’know…penis?

Big boned person: I wish it were, but sadly it’s just lumps of juicy fat.

Ticket agent:  I, uh, my…umm, supervisor, tells me to ask you to send a picture of your penis.  If it’s not too much trouble…

Big boned person: Yes it is, I’m SHOCKED and DISGUSTED.

Ticket agent:  Okay okay.  Don’t worry about it.  Now…it looks like in this picture if you leaned hard to the right you would only need one extra seat to accomodate your, um, largeness.  I have you booked with one extra seat now, thank you for calling Air Canada!

Big boned person: Hold ON here a minute!!!  I can’t do that for a 6 hour flight!!!

Ticket agent:  I’m sure you could just shift a bit of that to the right side and it’d kind of pull you over a bit, you know?

Big boned person: No, it doesn’t work like that.  I need TWO extra seats.

Ticket agent:  My supervisor is a bit overweight and he says he can tuck his rolls off to one side if he needs to.

Big boned person: Yeah, maybe HE can, but my fat is like, uh, hard.  You can’t shift it and squish it around like that!

Ticket agent:  My booking software tells me to ask you if you can bounce quarters off it, or will the quarter just kind of fall straight down.

Big boned person: Are you for real?

Ticket agent:  Yes, we need this information for government purposes.

Big boned person: Okay, I just threw one at myself and it bounced off and left a big red mark.

Ticket agent:  I umm, I’m afraid that’s not the type of fat that’ll let you have an extra seat.

Big boned person: What?  This is bullshit.  Forget it, I’ll find another way there.  Screw your fucking questions.  Goodbye. [click]

Ticket agent:  Perfect, thank you for calling Air Canada!  Lardass fuckhead!  Try eating less pizza and you won’t have to drive!  God I hate my job.

Supervisor:  What happened?

Ticket agent:  Just another ginormous fat fuck trying to get freebies.

Supervisor:  Did you eventually get him to hang up?

Ticket agent:  Yeah.

Supervisor:  Perfect.  You’re bucking for a management job, aren’t you!  Devil!  I’ll mark you down for your bonus!  Good work!