I’m planning a big Christmas project this weekend – something special for all of you!
I’ll require your help though – what do each of you want for Crimmas? Leave your wishes in the comments and I’ll see if I can incorporate them into what I’m thinking of doing.
*note: I reserve the right to totally slack off instead and not follow through with anything, because I’m quite lazy and never finish anything I start.
I want a threesome with my wife and another hot broad. I want a huge-ass flat screen tv. I want one of them remote control helicopters you can fly around the house. I want a kick-ass home theater system. I don’t ask for much. You’ll come thru for me, won’t ya Poobomber?
I want Starbuck’s to bring back the Toffee Nut Latte; I want to learn how to create my own blog so I can share my mindless drivel with the world; I want a 1.75L of Grey Goose vodka; I want cheek-bone implants, a nose job, a dimple in my chin, a bigger booty and smaller thighs. And lastly, I want the new Crackberry phone from Verizon. Oh yeah, and $250,000, tax free.
I want the world to unite in oeace, love, and…aw, fuck it. A snowblower would be nice.
I want an iTouch and some new “onsies” jammies that have the feet in them.
Oh, and Insultratron says that BeckEye has a crush on me, so maybe I should ask about that too.
I want world peace, but the kind that makes hot broads take off their shirts and demand I motorboat them.
I want a dictaphone. It really is what I want and is likely to serve your purposes easily.
what a dirty bunch of commenters…threesomes, nut latte, snowblower, jammies, shirtless broads, and a DICTAPHONE. I don’t even know what that is, but it sounds dirtier than all of them.
Oh yeah, I want Mark Teixeira.
And I want to catch up to Falwless on your comment totals.
Boobs, man, boobs.
I would like a Barak Obama commemorative plate, please.
Jason Castro naked in my bathtub, with his dreads tied back, and serenading me with his ukulele.
Please.
Oh! If Jason Castro is a no go, can I have a PacMan arcade game instead?!
AND I WANT THIS FUCKING SNOW STORM TO END SO I CAN GO OUT AND FINISH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!
Sorry I shouted, Poo. I meant to say “can you please hunt down the Snow Miser and give him a good slap on the snout for me?” This snow is cramping my style. Thank you.
Then again, if I had Jason Castro here, I wouldn’t give a fuck about the weather outside – let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…. so let’s just stick with that gift. Yeah, okay, thanks!
I want a Jeffery Donovan blow up doll that just so happens to be extremely endowed. I figure I can’t have the real thing, so what the hell…..
HO HO HO!
I want David Boreanaz, in a box full of double chocolate chunk cookies…and a big red bow on top.
Please?
I want to see the sun again before I die (not likely in the UK), I want David Duchovny and Wentworth Miller to serve me Christmas dinner naked (sure the Hubs won’t mind), and of course I want world peace.
What I want for Christmas is for Canada to grow a pair and invade St. Pierre & Miquelon and kick the damn Frenchies back to Europe. And that should serve as a big ass warning shot to Denmark (Greenland) and Quebec (Quebec) that they need to straighten up and fliy right.
Oh, and I want Chicago to have a “Canadian-American Pride” parade on July 1 (right in the middle of the “Taste of Chicago”) where it’s just me walking down a baracaded Dearborn St. tossing chocolate Loonies and Twoonies at the confused spectators. I will be clad in a mashup Rough Riders / Roughriders jersey. Rush will be playing. Not from a boom-box. Geddy, Alex, & Neil be there, rock’n out.
And I will be KING.
Holy crap, this is a long list so far.
For the screaming to end.
I want world peace…by Tuesday if you’re not too busy. Or a Llama.
Gwen really does want a dictaphone! She does! Really!
I’m still waiting for Bear Grylls to show up in my room. Naked. Oh-and world peace and crap.
NO?
Not gonna happen? Not what you had in mind?
damn!
Money. All of it.
I want an Illudium Q36 Space modulator.