Sometimes I get adventurous and try alternate routes to get from point A to point B.  It’s not that I’m looking for a more pleasant journey, it’s usually because I have to poo or some sort of food is waiting for me at the other end.  Or both.  But not both as in “I eat poo” because although I’m German, I’m not THAT German.

Since my new job takes me to a new part of the city, I’m still working on finding the most efficient way to work so that I can arrive way early and sit in my car, look stupid, and smoke.  Trouble is, the place I work is right next to what must be an elementary school judging by all the little kids walking by in the morning.  So someday my obsession with earliness + smoking in my car is going to get me some sort of pedophile tag from the cops or something.

Rocket science. And the actual road sign that you only get to see for about 1/4 second before the junction.

Getting back to the travel thing again, I’m trying out different routes to get to and fro my new place of work.  But Winnipeg is such a fucking horrible city to drive in.  You know what I mean?  Some cities are awesome and smooth flowing and well laid out and have nice intersections.  Winnipeg is not one of those cities.  For such a featureless city (there aren’t any hills to plan around, that’s for fucking sure) it’s a nightmare to drive through.  Roads with three lanes often have sections where people can park, so sometimes there are three lanes, sometimes two, busses stopping everywhere, and medians to get across quickly before someone t-bones you.  I can’t explain it all now, but it’s just not a nice city to cruise around in, unless your idea of ‘nice’ is being angry.

Fast forward to last night, I was attempting a new route home, and maybe 5 minutes away from home there’s an intersection called ‘Confusion Corner’.  I’ve been through it a million times, but last night was the first time attempting it from one of its many obscure directions.  Let me show you a little map:

Also notice that the above road sign bears no resemblance to the actual layout of the junction.

Located at Confusion Corner.

As you can see, the aptly named junction called “Confusion Corner” lives up to it’s name.    And it seems no matter where you are in the city, if you drive long enough you end up at this intersection – I’m not even kidding!

If you look closely, if you’re heading up Osbourne Street, there is no easy way to get on…..know what?  I give up, I can’t even explain it.  But isn’t that a nice picture of me being angry looking in my car?

Anyways, I missed whatever the hell turn I was supposed to make to get home and ended up a mile north downtown because there was no place to turn around because this place was designed by drunken Frenchmen who knew they were going to be dead before cars became popular, so they had their own little pre-mortem joke on all of us in the modern age.  Fuckers.

A non-rush hour photo of Confusion Corner.

I arrived home a half hour later than I should have, and by that time I’d already pooed my pants.  (Just kidding, it was only about 20 minutes later than I should have.)  (Oh, and I didn’t poop my pants either.  Just bingo dabber farts.)

Gah, I hate Confuscious Corner.

Wait, did I just say Confuscious Corner?  Freudian slip or WHAT!  Damn those Chinese philosophers, they make me irate TOO!