Comments on: Dwarves

By: Vegetable Assassin

Vegetable Assassin — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 07:27:40 +0000

I need MY midget to be Mexican so I can pay him half minimum wage to wash my car. (Hee, minimum!)

I’m going straight to hell.

By: Gwen

Gwen — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:03:36 +0000

Midgets and More over on 6th. There’s a website; google it. I think they ship. I got a floor model for about 35% off but I did some tricky negotiatin’.

By: God

God — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 04:49:29 +0000

Cameron: Screw ‘em, they don’t count anyways, according to scientific classification.

VA: Is he fucking midgets again? That dude has gotta calm down.

DB: We’re very hightest here – if you’re not between 5′ and 7′ you’re a mutant in Canada. Even if you’re bilingual.

Pixie: Deal. But you only get espresso, I need my socks fast in the morning.

MJ: True, but midgets are only one kick away from being eye-level.

Suze: I never professed to be sensitive to the plight of little people – damn little golf ball bastards.

Geek: Is that something from Harry Potter?

Augusto: If you’re that small, you can get by with simple gestures and cuteness.

Cora: I’ve been kicked by worse, bring it on, little bastards.

Gwen: Where did you buy it?

By: Gwen

Gwen — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 04:27:04 +0000

I use mine to clean the undersides of the cabinets and for mopping. There’s even a hole for the mop handle in the back.

By: Cora

Cora — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:59:14 +0000

They could reach up and punch you in the shin. Might hurt. Might bruise. So, I wouldn’t mess with them if I were you. Nope.

By: Augusto

Augusto — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:23:37 +0000

Guiness world records just recently recognized the smallest man on earth as a 3 foot tall Chinese guy. I don’t think he’s a dwarf human cause all his (visible) parts were in correct proportion and I believe that makes him a midget rather than a dwarf.

Being Chinese from a very small town, he might be available at a very reasonable rate to staff your sock closet. You really have a whole closet for socks and underwear?

Of course, he only speaks Chinese but, if you don’t speak Chinese, it shouldn’t be difficult to teach him to speak Canadian. Maybe with one of those Rosetta stone programs (you can probably pick one up really cheap on Craigslist) – after all he would have a lot of free time to study unless you change socks and underwear at an alarming rate, which is possible considering your nom de plume. I’m sure I don’t know.

By: ReformingGeek

ReformingGeek — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 22:31:27 +0000

Be careful out there trying to get dwarves and/or elves to work for you…….

“Happy Potter gave Dobby clothing! Dobby is free!”

By: Suze

Suze — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:59:22 +0000

That’s funny – unless you’re a little person. Then “tsk tsk…bad boy”

By: mjenks

mjenks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:24:33 +0000

Also, what qualifies it as a “dwarf” planet? Is it rich in mithril silver? Does it have a beard?

On the side, I do believe “Pluto’s Beard” would be an excellent band name.

By: mjenks

mjenks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:23:34 +0000

You might want to rethink that whole “what are they going to do?” part. You need to think about how your coinpurse is at eye-level for them. Piss them off, and they’re likely to grab it and give it a good, solid yank. A shot to the junk, and you’d be on their level pretty quickly.