If there’s anything we can agree on, it’s that Hollywood is full of a bunch of lazy assholes. And also that lotteries are taxes for mathematically challenged individuals, but that’s irrelevant right now.
Regarding Hollywood, why on earth do people there get so much time off? You and I work all year (granted, we also blogged through most of our year you and I, didn’t we! Yes, yes we did!) but the people in Hollywood seem to get all summer and all winter off or something ridiculous like that. And as a result half the year is spent showing us reruns that we’ve seen 80 times.
There’s a show on the Discovery Channel called “Destroyed in Seconds,” it’s a lot like something they’d show on SPIKE except it’s on the Discovery Channel which means it’s good for our brains. When the first show rolled out this fall, jets were colliding into each other in fiery explosions, chemical factories were blowing up, and rocket-propelled motorcycles were bursting through vans full of pious nuns – and it’s not one of those shows that doesn’t ever show big disasters where people come out of it okay.
No way, people die in these videos, making it extremely morbid and extremely awesome at the same time, kind of like watching Kirstie Alley trying to eat her way out of a burning chocolate house. You can’t help but get a little enthralled, but also be kind of sad for her and kind of grossed out at yourself for being fascinated with it all.
Well, when the first three episodes of DIS came out I was hooked. You know that in each clip something is going to go horribly wrong, and you can’t help but shake your head at the stupid fucker riding his bicycle down a volcano who will undoubtedly wipe out and break every bone in his body. But the problem is that the producers of the show must be on holidays, because there ARE only three episodes. WTF? THREE episodes!
And Discovery plays these same three videos ten times during the week during prime time, making me resort to watching shit on other channels like Survivor: Galleria Shopping Center, So You Think You Can Tailgate, and CSI: Duluth. (Just kidding, I can’t stoop that low no matter how bored I ever become.)
I guess it’s time to start writing angry letters to Hollywood again and tell them to get their shit together. I can’t go through the whole winter living on reruns of good shows – three strikes and you’re OUT, networks.
Christie Alley trying to eat her eay out of a chocolate house. That would be great. EVen better if she could do it naked. Hilarious.
That’s a good point though, they get paid good money, work all year like the rest of us!!
Uhm….exweese me Poo…but don’t YOU work in Hollywood?
Slop: It’s not like they’re teachers or anything….pfft.
E: Uhm, nope… I’m just an everydayman celebrity. Why, were you looking for an acting career?
Survivor Galleria Shopping Center?? Where is the casting call?? Finally a reality show where I can showcase my mad skillz and compete!! Bring it baby!!
Candy: I think there’d be some stiff competition….fighting over purses would be funny. “I’ve got immunity bitch, this handbag’s MINE!”
There is a protocol that the tv people have failed to observe. The new episodes are supposed to start in September when the new car models come out so they would have the car ads along side.
I’ll give them a break on last year with the writers strike but that history now. There is no excuse for having re-runs in prime time by December 1st.
I was thinking that we need a Viewers Union to protect us from Hollywood abuses but now I learn that WE all have to suffer because the Hollywood elite are just trying to punish Poobomber for offenses so heinous I can’t begin to imagine – I feel like such a pile of collateral damage.
I love you..you so funny.
Oh come on. You have no time to watch any of those shows between all those obsessive viewings of “So You Think You Can Dance, Canada?” you keep watching.
Discovery also has Time Warp and Prototype This. So it’s not all bad.
Hell Discovery reruns beat sweeps week on the networks.
Um…apparently I’m supposed to be smelling your tit? Have you been using that new Donald Trump cologne again?
And yeah, Hollywood is evil. Just plain evil.