There’s a commercial on TV these days that features an astrophysicist championing the Aquos TV. An astrophysicist? WTF do astrophysicists know about brands of TVs?
Jesus that’s stupid.
I wish I were a funky sounding profession – I could pitch things really well:
“Hello, I’m a mitochondrial DNA specialist and I know what being the powerhouse of a cell is all about, which is why I recommend Axe for men.”
“Hi, I’m a quantum physicist and I KNOW when to change MY blades – Gillette!”
“String theory is simple – but buying the right car insurance? I had no idea, which is why I turned to my State Farm Insurance agent.”
“I’m a specialist in sperm whale anatomy, but I was using the WRONG BRAND of oil. When I switched to Quaker State, I noticed a HUGE improvement in my car’s performance!”
“As a scientist working on the large hadron collider, I know a few things about impact. Which is why I prefer the DeWalt nail gun for all my home improvement projects.”
“My name is Dan, I’m an environmental scientist and I study ice shelves in the arctic. When I experienced erectile dysfunction, I thought it was all over for intimacy. Then I discovered Enzyte, their male enhancement formula changed my life! Now I float around next to icebergs with CONFIDENCE, knowing my lover back home is completely thrilled with my performance!”
“I work on wind powered turbines and renewable energy projects all day. When I get home at night, I turn to McCain frozen pizzas for a quick, easy meal to put the energy back in my OWN body.”
I’ve always thought that the world of advertising would be well-served by realizing just how ridiculous the whole thing is. Comedian Bill Hicks talked a little about this in his act (his idea for a Coke ad was genius). Like, why not have a commercial where comes on-screen and says “Hey everyone, My name’s Joe and I like two things: peeing on my girlfriend and Snickers.” ? Sure, it makes absolutely zero sense (like all the other shit commercials), but I’ll betcha Snickers sees a jump in sales as soon as the ad is run. It doesn’t matter if it’s logical, just that it gets people thinking about your product.
I love how in commercials you see a “doctor” in a white coat recommending something to a patient and two commercials later that same guy is a “dentist” or a “truckdriver” in some other commercial. Are we cloning our workforce? Hmmm?
Personally I’d never buy a cosmetic product unless I know it’s endorsed by someone with a Phd and a fancy title like Astrophysicist because I’m sure they know a fuckload about mascara. I’m sure Maybelline employ their own in fact.
I would do anything a specialist in sperm whale anatomy told me to do.
Some day naked chicks will sell us everything. Until then we will have to put up with the old antiquated sales tactics.
Greta, I am a Spermwhaleopoligist. Show me your boobs.
That astrophysicist guy is creepy. I bought that TV before those commercials began, and now, I wish I hadn’t.
Uhm…4 out of 5 Mitochondrial DNA specialists recommend AXE deodorant spray.
The 5th one?? Well that would be me…and I like Armani Code.
Never mind that…the insultatron says I smell like Hitler…
You do Guv, you just do.