George is a homeless man in Washington, his friends call his choice in clothing ‘abhorrent’ and ‘abysmal’. We sent Stacy and Clinton to Washington to confront George, the fashion disaster.

Stacy:  George, what were you THINKING when you woke up in your cardboard box this morning??

Clinton:  Yeah, did you THINK, “Hey, these pants that are twenty sizes too big for me really go well with this fake suede jacket with boogers and orange juice stains all over it?”

George:  I was uh, thinkin like uh, where’m I gonna find food this morning, I’m starving.

Stacy:  You need to make yourself a priority.

Clinton:  No one’s going to give a guy in this outfit dollar bills.  They’re going to give a guy like THIS – dimes and nickels!

George:  Well uh, we don’t have much to choose from ‘n the Sally Ann bins…”

Stacy:  …bins blah blah Sally Ann…blah blah.  You people always have excuses.  Instead of facing your body issue images, you hide yourself away in unflattering parkas and t-shirts left over from like, spring break!

Clinton:  Seriously.  What is it about yourself that you don’t like??

George:  I [sniffling] look, I’m cryin’ here… I guess I just never felt good about my midsection.  An’ I have no chest to speak of.

Stacy:  Yeah well buckle up buddy, we ALL feel like that.

Clinton:  Yeah, there’s nothing saying that you can’t look good while scrounging for half eaten cheeseburgers from the bin.  AAAAND your shoes and the color of the garbage bin don’t have to match.  Now let’s get you straaaaightened out.  We have a Bank of America card with $5000 on it, but there are rules.

George:  Huh?  What are the rules?  No crack?

Stacy:  Rule #1 – you have to bring your entire wardrobe to New York and WE get to throw everything away.

George:  All I have is ‘n this here bag….I…I guess I can do that.

Stacy:  Rule #2 – You need to shower in the hotel room before we talk again.

Clinton:  And NO CRACK.

George:  Done.

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Stacy:  Let’s get you in front of this full-length 360 degree mirror.  Tell us what you were thinking when you wore this outfit.

George:  I guess uh, I was thinkin’ that this kinda like defines me an’ what I’m all about.

Clinton:  You’re about breaking out of a war prison?

George:  No, like comfort and bein’ sensible n’ militant when it comes to gettn’ dressed.  An’ coffee, I’m all about drinkin’ hot coffee.  But like I never get OUT of these fuckin’ clothes either, so like, there’s that too.

Stacy:  Well we’re going to change all of that.

George:  Okay, I guess it couldn’t hurt.  Did you hear that?

Stacy:  Hear what?

George:  Bats.  Fuckin’ bats are everywhere in here man.

Clinton:  [Looking fed-up and towards Stacy] Again with the invisible bats.  Well, there’s nothing saying that you can’t look like a well-dressed crazy man.  Sheesh.

Stacy:  Now get out there and spend that $5000 and remember our fashion rules!

George:  Right.  You sure I can’t spend some of this money on getting work boots so I can get a job or somethin’?

Clinton:  Get out of here.

George:  Anythin’ to get away from these fuckin’ bats, man.

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Our cameras followed George through his shopping adventures, following the rules of fashion Stacy and Clinton have laid out.  After a hair cut and makeup lesson, George reveals his new self to them.

Stacy:  Okay, come out here George!

George:  [walks out and reveals himself]

Stacy:  SHUT!  UP!

Clinton:  Oh. My. God.

George:  I feel really good about this new look.

Clinton:  Do you think you REALLY need to look like a slob when picking up pieces of used chewing gum?

George:  No way man, I guess I can look good too.  An’ look, the jacket has pockets without holes in them an’ I can keep my syringes in ‘em without ‘em fallin’ out all over the place.

Stacy:  Have you got anything else to say about your new look?

George:  Got any spare change?