Just when I thought things were going well at my new job, the dude who was training me (but hadn’t really got around to training me yet because he’d been swamped with client problems) got shitcanned the night before last.
I came in for work yesterday and the first thing I saw was about 100 frustrated client emails in my inbox along with one saying “As of tonight, XXXX will no longer be working for us. Please forward all technical issues to Dan.” Whoa, dudes, I was hired to do technical writing and web and graphic design, not sit on the phone all day and placate angry customers – cause if that’s the case all that will happen is the customers will shift from ‘angry’ to ‘infuriated’ since I avoid the phone and dealing with people at all costs. There’s a reason I WRITE everything, because I don’t like fucking talking, dudes! At least not to angry people.
Then the bosses promptly sent out emails to all of our customers with outstanding technical issues saying shit like, “We’re proud to introduce you to Dan who will be spearheading our technical support department, please forward your concerns and issues to him…”
What department? It’s only ME! Spearheading? You mean ‘Wet noodling’, don’t you?
I have NO idea what the heckI’m doing – at ALL. Hell, I’m supposed to understand a complete system that’s taken 15 years to continually build on in less than three or four days of actual training? And the only other person there who can show me anything is also departing for good, tomorrow is his last day! Yowsa.
I’ve got confidence that I’ll be fine, but shit is gonna get ugly these next while. Blech, and who fires someone a week before Christmas? “Merry Christmas dude, your new baby and wife are going to be returning those presents you bought them real quick! Get used to standing in the returns and exchanges line at Walmart for the holidays!”
If you don’t mind, please send me angry sounding words and comments. I’d like to get used to them.
Wet noodling!! I didn’t know you could do that Poo! That’s really hot, you know.
“Poop” is an angry-sounding word. Also, you could use the word “mad.”
You worthless SOB, my problem has been on-going for weeks. I want an answer and I want it now.
What do you mean you don’t know? What do they pay you to do there at Graphic Design Co? Sit there with your thumb up your butt? I need a solution and I need it now. Get your boss on the phone right now. Jackass.
Good?
Listen here, you slack-jawed fucktard, I was promised my data yesterday and I still don’t have it. Where the fuck is it? Are you that functionally retarded that you can’t work a computer? Jesus, I shit stuff that has a better grasp on how to do its job than you. Do you have someone who sits by your bed in the morning and helps you get your socks on? Fucking Christ, how can you be so slow and stu–oh, here’s my stuff. Sorry ’bout that back there. Been under a lot of stress lately…found a lump while in the shower the other day, turned out it was some matted hair, but still, didn’t do much for the ole cortisol levels, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, carry on.
Dude. That sucks. I will not lob angry words your way. Instead I will be annoyingly optimistic (and ghetto) and say “Keep ya head up, dawg!”
Nah, don’t explode in anger – cry. Cry like a baby. That works better. Some Guy did a post about it and it was BRILLIANT.
Awwwwww pooooor Dan… :’( (I’m better at the sympathy-babying-thing)
That really sucks!
…and SERIOUSLY! Who does that right before the holidays?!? I drank a little more for the mere fact that I got canned the Monday before Thanksgiving. Who does that?!
I think I would poke my eyes out if I worked at a place that didn’t have the balls to tell me to my face that I was being given a different workload and that let me find out over e-mail. I’m actually feeling quite sorry for you Poobomber; I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me in the tootie. But faaaaaaaaack, that sucks.
it is indeed regrettable that you work for such a complete and utter cunt. And you have every right to meet with him and say “listen fucker, I did NOT sign up for this, so you can pay me more money, or you can suck my cock, which will also cost you money, though not nearly as much.”
Now shut your piehole, crybaby. Some of us would LOVE to have a fucking job.
Just be glad it wasn’t you that got fired.
If you are the “Department Head” don’t you deserve a raise?
Tell the boss you are going to forward all the emails to him unless he coughs up 20%
A friend of mine was laid off (and hopefully sympathy layed) on Tuesday. I had the same thought as you, who does this right before Christmas? Dicks!
Sheesh! Sounds like my old job. No thanks.
I’m getting a little worried that lots of folks will be losing their jobs at the end of the year.
When the screaming villagers come to your door with torches, think of them as “carolers.”
You’ve been tagged to post a CRAPPY GIFT! Follow the link for details.
Isn’t “spearheading” just a euphamism for “fuck me up the ass”?
If you’re spearheading it, you should ask for an actual spear. And then use it to threaten people who want you to spearhead things with an actual spearhead.
Jesus. That sucks ass but not as much as the bitch board disappearing. How do I call tech support for this blog?
Gwen the bitch board is on the left. Ahemm.
I don’t see any bitch board, either. “ahem” Obviously Dog Breath is privy to some form of your blog that the rest of aren’t.
Only I can see the Bitch Board. I am using Internet Explorer Version 2.0, In the past.
Haha, no, the bitch board is gone for now. Maybe over the hollydaze I’ll invent something new to put up there.
WE need that bitch board back YESTERDAY. What the fuck do you do all day? You play Tetris, or whatever it is that you computer geeks do, on your own time.
In case you forgot, you asked for people to write bitchy comments. I don’t want you to space on it and think that I’m just being a bitch for no reason.
What the hell? I hope you pull through without too many death threats.
Sorry to hear about the layoffs at your company. You’re absolutely right, it’s atrocious to lay someone off right before Christmas. I should know, my company cut 25% of our personnel just yesterday. That amounts to 50 people! Luckily I was not one of them, but it’s truly a troubling thing to witness nonetheless. I’m moving to Mexico… this place has had it.