If I were a Jedi, I wouldn’t bother waiting in line at the convenience store for those guys in front of me that play a bunch of lottery tickets and monopolize the cashier.
I’d send lightning sparking out of my fingertips and into his shoulder, either to hasten his circle-penciling NFL quick picks, or else to perhaps kill him.
Depends on how big of a hurry I was in.
I would ram my light saber right up his shame canal.
why are light sabers better than heavy sabers?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just use a Jedi mind trick? Wave your hand in front of the cashiers face and say “I’ve already paid for all these items, but I could do with a blow job.”
I will agree that throwing lightning is waaaay cooler, but perhaps it’s overkill in this case?
Would this also work for little old ladies who still write out a check (PAINSTAKINGLY SLOW) or insist on locating the exact change from within the depths of their purse while everyone else stands waiting?
Sheesh, those Capital One commercials certainly don’t seem to reaching THAT demographic.
A real Jedi would subjigate the universe and make the convenience store clerks bring him Cheetos night and day. Screw standing in line!
I’d Jedi Mind Trick convenience store clerks into playing hockey on the roof of the convenience store. Then I’d watch as comedy ensued…and came full circle.
I want to be pyrokenetic (like in Stephen King’s Firestarter) so when people piss me off I can set something on fire – the sleeve of their jacket or maybe their hair if they are really obnoxious.
And if they are in a car, to set the backseat on fire and watch them panic like John Candy in Planes Trains and Autos.
I’m just low tech like that.