Comments on: If I were a Jedi, part 2

By: augusto

augusto — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:23:30 +0000

I want to be pyrokenetic (like in Stephen King’s Firestarter) so when people piss me off I can set something on fire – the sleeve of their jacket or maybe their hair if they are really obnoxious.

And if they are in a car, to set the backseat on fire and watch them panic like John Candy in Planes Trains and Autos.

I’m just low tech like that.

By: mjenks

mjenks — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:46:32 +0000

I’d Jedi Mind Trick convenience store clerks into playing hockey on the roof of the convenience store. Then I’d watch as comedy ensued…and came full circle.

By: Dog Breath

Dog Breath — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:52:29 +0000

A real Jedi would subjigate the universe and make the convenience store clerks bring him Cheetos night and day. Screw standing in line!

By: Giggle Pixie

Giggle Pixie — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:33:29 +0000

Would this also work for little old ladies who still write out a check (PAINSTAKINGLY SLOW) or insist on locating the exact change from within the depths of their purse while everyone else stands waiting?

Sheesh, those Capital One commercials certainly don’t seem to reaching THAT demographic.

By: katrocket

katrocket — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:50:17 +0000

Wouldn’t it be easier to just use a Jedi mind trick? Wave your hand in front of the cashiers face and say “I’ve already paid for all these items, but I could do with a blow job.”

I will agree that throwing lightning is waaaay cooler, but perhaps it’s overkill in this case?

By: Bert Bananas

Bert Bananas — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:09:29 +0000

why are light sabers better than heavy sabers?

By: Vegetable Assassin

Vegetable Assassin — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 04:32:23 +0000

I would ram my light saber right up his shame canal.