Remember when you were growing up and someone was teaching you how to fish and they let you try and try and try to take the fish hook out of the fish’s mouth, but it never went smoothly?
You can bet your butt that instead of struggling with that fishhook that never seemed to be able to come out of that damn fish’s mouth, I would force choke the person teaching me to fish until they were dead, then give up on the gross idea of touching slimy, stinky fish and go and play my Xbox instead.
Hey, some creature was destined to die that day, it sure wasn’t going to be me. I’m the Jedi, remember?
I always figured bartenders were weak-minded fools, and therefore would fall prey to me waving my fingers in the air and saying “these drinks are free”.
Also, college girls would fall prey to “you want to take your top off”.
[Excerpt from "Tales of a Rambling Jedi"]
Once I was on a small planet in the Hoff system and I heard a man choking on a piece of Wookie meat.
I performed a force heimlick manuever and hit his date in the eye with the half chewed meat.
I didn’t bother to take credit for the life saving deed since I was the one that made him choke in the first place.
Goddamnit! I get sick for one long weekend and lose my spot as #3 commenter. Sonofabitch.
Poo….Really….it’s time to give up on this Jedi shit. You’re never gonna score any chicks
Sorry Red, but I’m giddy that I finally made Top 5.
Gwen’s gonna wipe us all out Red.
I realize this comment adds to the problem but it couldn’t be helped.