Last night I worked till midnight. It was a long day. This morning my brain feels like it’s been sapped of its blog-spewing goodness as a result.
Oh sure, I could go on about Bono or dildos, both the same really, or I could yammer on about farts and poop and pee and whatever else comes out of me, maybe even equate my emissions to Bono – like hey, I just had a big steamer and it looked like … Bono!
Look how cool I am. Your pain and suffering is nothing, I have sensitive eyes and 5 o'clock shadow. Woe is me.
But I’m not, my brain is too fried. Not to mention my eyes are also fried from looking at a computer screen for so many hours lately. I should get a pair of pink douchebag sunglasses to protect my eyes….just like that piece of shit Bono.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was, “Ugh, I’m so fucking sick of Bono.” Yes, work is getting to me. Well, not work so much as Bono. Yes, Bono is getting to me.
I hate the thought of going out in the cold, warming up the car for ten minutes just till warm air starts to come out of the vents, dodging idiot drivers and telephone poles and whatever else decides to jump in front of me while driving in order to get to Bono.
Ugh, to see his grinning mug first thing in the morning is hell, and you know he’s going to be in a chipper mood because he’s just had a prolonged bout of morning sex with Africa. Yes, he fucked Africa this morning – he rolled over in his bed and there Africa was, all heavy on the top and tiny on the bottom with her bare Saharan chest gleaming in the morning sun, just the way he likes her. You know they did it missionary style too, just so he could look down into her dark Libyan eyes while he bongo’d-her-Congo. And this is going to make him smile all morning. I don’t want to see it.
Wait a second, what the heck does Bono have to do with my long hours at work? Nothing, absolutely nothing. He’s still a dickhead though, and I imagine I’m going to have to work another long day again today. So they’re the same things really, pains in my ass.
I would be in a fucking bad mood too if I had to see a grinning just-had-sex bono every morning too.
How the heck does he get in your house? You really should get that fixed.
How can you hate Bono?? The dud fucks continents??? And he can bag any other body of land he wants. The dude is the definition of today’s “kinder, gentler rock star”. I kid.
I completely think he’s full of shit.
Yeah, I can tell work is frying your brain, Poo – “dildos or Bono, both the same really” C’mon, dildos are WAAAAYYYYY better than Bono! Pull yourself together, man! I think you need a new job.
I know you’re uber busy and important and all, but when you get a second (IF you get a second. Stupid work!) stop by my blog: Buns Up has some stiff competition now. You’re right, my blog is out of control. Last night it said “Evelu” (evil you) to Scope and “Askiti” to Words. Askiti, Poo! ASS KITTY!!!! Buns up seems pretty tame now, doesn’t it?
Bono and a big steaming pile? Hmmm…it’d be hard to know which was which.
He tried to fuck antarctica but only managed to put a hole in the ozone layer.
BONO, you put that back!
It’s funny…I wrote something about how I was sick of Bono and his massive ego like 2 years ago, and people got MAD. It’s like dissing St. Peter in front of devout Catholics. But, apparently, Bono hasn’t learned and he’s still pissing people off with his uber coolness. So, he deserved it from me then, and he deserves it from you now.
(laughing my ass off at Dog Breath!!!! Hee hee hee!!!!)
Thank goodness there are people like you to counteract the effect of people like me. I worked roughly 9 minutes yesterday, surfed porn for 20, read the news for 3.5 hours, took an extended lunch, and then spent consider time in the crapper.
Sometimes I don’t know how you do it at all, Poo.