A little backstory – once upon a time, my brilliant protege at work communicated that he liked photoshopping hockey helmets for his computer sports games. At a point when I felt like he was going to be canned, I told him that he should show us all his graphic design work. I didn’t tell him that it might be his only saving grace and that since he couldn’t do jack-shit else, he had better throw everything he could possibly have on the table even if it had nothing to do with his job. Hey, he may suck at, well, everything, but if he could do some nice photoshopping he could at least have a chance at keeping a job, right?
Well, he was excited at the idea. I said “Hurry up and make something-anything(!) graphical and show it to all of us!” in the hopes that he was some latent photoshop genius. A few days later he made a button. A single button. It was gray and square and had the words “click me” on it.
Damn he was was proud of that button, he emailed it around to all of us and said “hey heres what i made”. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that a epileptic gorilla having a seizure somewhere in the proximity of a computer with Photoshop running on it could quite possibly create the same image. No one else said a word either – they could have been humbled by his supreme awesomeness, but most likely they were silent because they were put into the awkward position of praising a 25 year man like they would a three year old who draws a big gray blob on a piece of paper and proudly calls it an elephant.
Fast forward to yesterday.
We frequently use MSN messenger at work to communicate to each other or to send files with. Since it’s all internal, we (okay, I) use goofy avatars. This is mine:
Today, perhaps as a result of his self-stoked graphic design confidence, he sent me a MSN message out of the blue, saying “haha i could photoshop your avatar way better to look way more reel”
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Well what do you say to that? Obviously his brain is unable to comprehend the concept of … well, I’m not even sure what the concept is. Just … humour in general?
Not wanting to spend the time to explain to a grown man how all-things-slightly-funny-in-the-world work, I replied, “Dude, it looks that way intentionally, stop being a fucking retard.”
Zoinks. Maybe he should wear one of those hockey helmets at all times. It sounds like he may be a danger to himself and to others if left unsupervised in public.
Whut? I totally thought that was your reel body.
I like this idiot! Is he, perchance, single?
You say. “Oh course you can.” Then you throw the ball again.
Is he for reel?
; )
That is terrible. I hate people who don’t get humor.
Sadly, when you tell a retard to stop being such a retard, it rarely works. Because they’re a retard. It’s like a vicious circle.
From what I can gather with this post, as well as the other posts about this co-worker, he seems to be an insult to epileptic gorillas having seizures.
The jokes on you Poo.
Calling him a Retard was the nicest thing that has ever been said to him in his life.
Now he’s going to want to hang out at your house on weekends.
“We can hang out and I can teach you computer”.
“I like steaks”
“I pooped BIG”.
But did you click the button? Maybe he had it hyper linked to the coolest damn stit you’d ever seen in your life.
And now that train has left the station.
Or he was a fuck-tard.
That’s not reel?
No, it’s someone else’s face. He bought one of those plastic and pot metal Ab-Dozers things.