I don’t know what the big deal is about “Jon and Kate Plus 8”, since I’ve never watched it and don’t plan on watching it. All I know is that pretty much not an entire day goes by without their name being splattered in the news somewhere, and I’m pretty tired of hearing about it.
I’ve never got the attraction or excitement about having so many children that you get a bulk discount on day care. Hell, Kate’s ovaries must be so saturated with eggs that she spurts an ovum every time she comes within 6 feet of a person with a deep voice wearing Drakkar. “Oh excuse me, I’m sorry I ruined your shoes – say, you look like you could pay for a few college educations, want to party?”
The whole notion of reproducing so many times that your fallopian tubes have probably grown some sort of extraneous regulating organ is frightening. Check out this image of Jon and Kate’s bestselling book:
See how the ‘8’ in the title symbolizes a pregnant woman? It’s vile, I tell you. Vile. Also, that isn’t how you spell ‘blessings’, asshats. Also, Jon and Kate, you need to pay more attention to that boy on the front left, he looks like he’s going to grow up to be an accountant – do something fast to correct him before he starts figuring out your net worth.
Now take a look at this close-up of Jon:
His face is so swollen with semen that he appears to be ready to burst. I want to lance his cheek with a pin just to see what kind of shit leaks out. He’s every coed nursing student’s wet dream isn’t he though? Clean cut, looks like he knows how to iron clothes, and has no problem letting himself get inundated with offspring. He can probably even carry 6 kids himself.
The fact that it’s on TLC makes it even more reprehensible. I swear TLC stand for “TesticuLar Cringe,” cause that’s what happens when I accidentally land on the channel when trying to channel surf to a show with people punching each other or things blowing up. I mean seriously, how many shows about midgets, brides, fashion, and babies does there need to be on ONE single channel? They need to spice that whole channel up, throw in some extra variables, maybe some stuff to make wistful 31 year old chicks whose only mission is to reproduce cry?
They could really amp up the whole show by throwing in some excitement:
- Jon and Kate Plus: 8 Loose-Cannon Lunge Punches At Whoever Comes Close Enough To Disturb Our Sleep
- Jon and Kate Plus … Murder!
- Jon and Kate: Throwing Babies From a Train
- Jon and Kate: Using Babies to Pay For Their Audi Which They Fill Up With Children and Drive Over a Cliff Repeatedly Until They Are Finally Out of Children and/or Audis
- Jon: I Wish I Could Nail My Wife But Damn Bro, She Just Had 8 Kids And I’m Too Scared To Put My Ween Near Her In Case She Has More, So I’m Going to Strip Clubs and Getting a Tattoo Instead, So I Guess Here’s a Reality Show About Me Going to Strip Clubs and Getting Tattoos Instead and Then Returning Home to a Vengeful And Bitter Future Former-Wife and There’ll Probably Be Lots in it About Losing Arguments With a Wife Who Glorifies Birth and Reproduction and Emasculates Me on a Regular Basis
They are all over magazines also. WTF is up with people that we need to follow somebodies every move just because they don’t know how to use birth control?
If they ever fall into a well and need to be rescued, the TV execs would all die from terminal erections.
I’ve only seen it once and I thought it was complete shit. The kids were out of control, Kate was being a raging bitch to Jon, Jon was being a brainless boob afraid to speak up for himself and absolutely NO-ONE in their house seemed the least bit happy. Total miserablism is what it was. I’d rather watch Oprah.
I’ve seen bits of that show only a few times and man, if I was married to Kate, I’d go dip my chalupa in the first other woman I could find. Woman is demented. She scares me. She’s Cruella deVille. But she likes money and prostituting her family out to the public to get lots of it. It should be called Kate and Tyrannical Rule.
She’s evil, they have too many kids, and he looks perpetually like he’s going to shove a fistful of credit cards and clean underwear into a messenger bag and make a run for it. After enduring five minutes of the show I’d hardly blame him. Stuff like this is why we cancelled Direct TV and closed the little rolltop doors on the entertainment center.
I saw this post in my sidebar and the title made me think “Well she has had eight children dude. I’m guessing her hoo-ha IS pretty big.”
She is an utter witch and they are indeed replulsive themselves and even more so for pimping out their kids.
However, uber-fertile they are not. They used doctor-enhanced assistance for the two litters they had.
I watched it once, she’s a fucking bitch and their kids are all brats!
I think after the second child your marriage should be automatically anulled.
Then a cage wrestling match to determine the alimony split.