So this is my new blog template. Instead of rummaging through scads of hippie three-column douchebag canned WordPress themes I decided to make it all myself.
If it looks all fucked up in your web browser, that’s because your web browser is messed up, not because my template is wrong.
If you don’t know what I do for a living, I design websites and other stuff (and I’m also a professional ninja). I’m tired of accommodating web browsers all the time, every time I do something wicked and nice and cool and awesome when I make a site then test it out on Internet Explorer, I am crushed and demoralized.
Why? Because Internet Explorer is the most popular web browser in the universe, yet it can’t do half the things properly that it should do. So then I either have to take out the cool features or program all around it, and my soul cries a little bit.
So for this particular template, I said “Fuck IE and Mac and people without decent fonts and people with slow internet connections and slow computers and midgets and droopy eyelids and that speak French” and made it the way it should be without any compromises.
So what about the theory of everything part? I just threw that in to mess with your head. I really don’t have any theories on anything right now. Come back later today or tomorrow or whenever, maybe I’ll have something for you then?
You know I still love you-even though I totally fall for all your magical shit! I am your most perfect sucker to your PT Barnum act.
Yet, I still come back for more.
I’m totally linking you today at my blog. And I need to e-mail you about a techie question.
Seems to be popping up in IE fairly well, actually. Sorry not to be up on the newest Chrom-Fox-Zilla browser hybrid that some git has bodged together in his basement last week and is the newest greatest thing.
But then, I use Windows Media Player for my music, too.
Did that just make you cry a little?
I use Windows Media Player too if it makes you feel any better!
Thankfully IE8 is a step in the right direction, although it’s still all messed up. It’s the people with IE 6 that drag the world down because they have 20% browser share still, so they have to be accommodated for. And IE6 came out the same time as 9/11 happened, so it’s pretty brutal.
I don’t know enough about all that stuff to NOT be impressed no matter how it comes up; when it comes to templates and code and IE you drive the short bus, I just get on it. It looks good to me though…but that’s just one window licker’s opinion.
Is there supposed to be a naked midget blowing a goat in the middle of the screen? Cuz that’s how it looks using Google Chrome…just so you know.
It’s quite lovely in Chrome except the insultatron is making me feel dirty. For a change.
All I’m seeing is a bunch of funny cat pictures with cutesy sayings on them. Weird.
I love how this looks- must be nice to understand this tecmololomogy stuff.
I use Firefox, but for whatever reason, with the old template it very often wouldn’t load at all, and when it did it took forever. This one? No problems at all.
I use Firefox, and it is wonderful. Your blog, not Firefox. Well, Firefox is good but not wonderful…
Isn’t this just a fan-fucking-tastic comment?
Great look (but this is my first visit, so I can’t really say if it’s an improvement). Anyway, I’m here at Candy’s suggestion, and it seems just whacked out enough for my taste. I’ll be around!
Now doesn’t that just make your day?
Chris
Lovely, lovely.
God, I’m using IE and this looks spectacular to me ~ and, look, the Insultatron is telling me Cora is Swahili for ‘Mother Fukah’ too ~ so, clearly, everything seems to be in order.
Looks good on the iPhone… Last version had the “home” bar stuck in the middle of the sceen. Gotta have my TOSON mobile…
BTW, love the look. Sorta like ‘Deadwood: The Other Side of Normal’
Love the background and the overall look, I think we can agree that you’re pretty much a genius.
Two things just to prove you didn’t write this comment for me:
1. Although it is a nice one, I kinda wish the comment font wasn’t all-caps-all-the-time
2. Also it has horrible tracking. You got it from dafont.com didn’t you?
1. Yeah, I don’t like the comments at this point either. The problem is the wordpress engine makes it pretty tough to separate the comment’s author from its content, so until I find that part where a comment is generated from in wordpress, it’ll look goofy still. I’ll get around to fixing it soon.
2. Yep, I got the font from Dafont or Urban Fonts or someplace like that (and then it’s displayed using Cufon to display it using javascript, hence the inability to select any words using that font) and some CSS styling , but I believe the font is SUPPOSED to look that way! It’s not legible if used in big blocks of text (hence the fact that I don’t like the comments yet), but on a line or two I like the way it is! No?
Looking good, not bad for God!
I think you need to use one of those compressed air dusters on your computer. You got my monitor all dirty.
I keep scrubbing and scrubbing but it just smears around and my LCD keeps looking like it’s broken in places.
I can hardly read whatjkmbcvergkuyt im typlhfrdjkl.
yubbluou blmrogkedn myrb compublgtrrr
I like the new template (it loads faster too). But I hate all caps fonts. I swear to you, god, I am not screaming this comment.
So what do you scream in the throes of passion?
“Oh my… um you know! You know!” “Oh yes YYuuuuuuuu nnnnnnoooo ooo oooooo!!”