I was reading the news tonight about some airplane in Minnesota (or some state where people molest hay bales), where passengers were stuck on this plane on the tarmac for something like 8 hours and blah blah eating only pretzels, and mwah mwah.

To be honest, I wasn’t really reading the article, I was skimming it looking for some sort of reference to midget stewardesses, as my hobbies dictate I do.  (You should see the guys at the Midget-Hunting Club local branch #47 when I tell them of my new finds.  Totally worth all the work, being all respected by my peers n’ stuff.)

What caught my eyes were that this ‘Mesaba’ airline company (some sort of Jar-Jar Binks reference, I suppose?) or whatever the hell it’s called  is a wholly owned subsidiary of Northwest Airlines, which in turn is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Delta Airlines.

I got thinking for a second, cause that’s usually all I’m capable of.  “Self?  What the hell would happen if Mesaba went and bought Delta Airlines?”

I just blew your fucking minds, didn’t I.   No, I thought not because you’re only half fucking paying attention yourselves.

Mesaba would own Delta which would own Northwest which would own Mesaba which would own Delta which would own Northwest which would own Mesaba.

People would say, “Wait, who owns Delta?”  And I’d have to answer the above line infinitely until the universe collapsed into some sort of singularity and we’d all die except for Stephen Hawking, who figured out some sort of freaky physics-avoiding umbilical cord and just floats outside the universal singularity in his tricked-out $475.00 (or more) wheelchair taunting the collapsed universe with his robotic voice:

“Hah Hah You People Should Have Spent More Time In Science Class And Less Time in Phys-Ed With Your Muscles And All That Worthless Shit”.  [Imagine that being said in his Windows 95 voice.]

So, we can take from this whole rant that 1)  I’m a fucking gimp-brain, and 2) see 1).