Last night we watched one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen, and probably one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies, “Alive”. Have you seen it?
It’s based on the true story of the Uruguayan rugby players who survived a plane crash in the Andes only to find Kate Hudson stowed away in the plane’s forward luggage compartment.
She awkwardly mopes around the wreckage for two months and laments about why she can’t find a boyfriend, oblivious to the fact that the plane she was on crashed in the Andes and that she’s likely to die if she doesn’t resort to cannibalism, which she eventually does (resort to cannibalism, that is). However, her bulimia makes things more difficult since not only does she stuff someone else’s fingers down her throat for sustenance and good eatin’, but she immediately sticks her own fingers down her throat as well so she can stay slim and fit into the nice dress she scavenged out of a piece of luggage she pried from some unfortunate ladies’ frozen, deceased hands. Purpose … defeated!
Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey portrays Fernando Imnotatallalatino, a first-year medical student who tends to the victims immediately after the crash and emerges as some sort of reluctant hero. Despite the blistering cold, he valiantly offers his shirt, shoes, pants, and everything except a pair of swimming trunks to the other survivors to help them weather the freezing temperatures. And of course he’s just ended a recent relationship with his girlfriend of ten years, and he hasn’t got a clue of how the dating game is played.
Eventually McConaughey and Hudson fall for each other, despite their endless bickering and strong personality clashes. In one scene, the two are searching the high mountain plains in hopes of finding the tail section of the plane which had been lost at the moment of the crash, and a strong cold wind whips up and forces the two into their sleeping bag made from the upholstery from the seats of the plane. McConaughey is awkward and uncomfortable at being so intimate with another woman so soon after his previous relationship, and Hudson is painfully self-conscious of the gangrene setting into her toes. It makes for a hilarious scene, ending in the two squandering their food and resources to spend a few days’ mini-vacation in the sleeping bag on the side of the mountain writing love notes in the alpine snow, while the rest of the survivors dwell in agony and despair waiting for their return. Hilarious!
The movie ends on a high note, with Chilean rescue helicopters flying a priest and Kate Hudson’s kleptomaniac nymphomaniac best friend (played by Kathy Griffin) to the mountain top to be in their spontaneous wedding ceremony.
I give it five stars out of five and highly recommend it!
Wait! Do you smell that? Smells like Academy Award to me!
Here’s the reason why you can’t find a boyfriend, Kate Hudson: you look like a sheet of plywood with googly eyes glued onto it.
You neglected to mention that the love notes in the snow were written in urine. I know it was a piece of cake for McConaughey, but I can’t imagine the hours of training it took for Hudson to learn how to do that. Color me impressed.
I think if Kate Hudson and McConnahooey had been on that mountain they’d have been the only survivors, since everyone else would’ve volunteered to be eaten just to be spared watching the saccaharine antics of those asses. Plus, let’s face it, there’s no meat on Hudson to be of any use. Plus they’d probably be up there a week before McConaughey even noticed, he’s so damn high.
How many Oscars did this masterpiece win?
brilliant!
She lasted two months??? I woulda kicked her ass off the nearest cliff…or at the very least strangled her in her sleep and feasted on her femur.
They needed to fly in a witness since Kate ate and barfed the entire team by the third day.