Although this photo is beautiful (colors! tanks! subjugation!), it’s also disturbing to me.
China is the John Candy of nations. Big, awkward, endearing sometimes, but disturbingly intent on consuming everything in the fucking universe with its appetite. Here’s the thing though – what is its appetite for, anyways? It keeps amassing more and more and more of EVERYTHING. And it can play the capitalism game better than anyone else in the world:
China: We want all of your steel.
World: Wait, how much?
China: All of it.
World: How much are you willing to pay for … ALL OF THE STEEL IN THE WORLD?
China: Everything.
World: That doesn’t make sense.
China: Soon you will not make sense either, when our cell-phone brainwave amplifiers make you march for us.
World: Okay, as long as you pay for all this now.
China: Yes, we own your debt anyways, so we’re just paying ourselves. Say, are you going to eat that kitten?
So what’s going on in the above picture anyways?
China’s celebrating 5 years of spam commenting? China’s 2,000,000,000th person? China’s purchase of Spain? Chairman Mao rose from the dead and scored 1 million points in Guitar Hero? They’re all heading to the nearest TV to watch the next episode of John and Kate Plus 8?
Nah, nothing like that - it’s just laundry day. I’m kidding, something about 60 years of communism or something, who cares – I’m just jealous that they probably got the day off from assembling netbooks to watch colorful military formations. Wouldn’t that be the perfect day? Ohhhh yeah.
Dude, I just peed myself reading this! The John Candy of nations… That is some funny shit!
China’s scary shit.
Say what you like, no one does precision crowd-based displays like the Communists.
Pffft! It’s just Kate Plus 8 now. They kicked Jon out.
I was under the impression that Jon and Kate plus 8 was our secret weapon against China?
Military parades…yeah, those chinese really know how to party hearty on their holidays.