Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday, if you’re a Canadian!

Yes, I happen to be from Canadistan, and I filled my face with turkey and mashed potatoes and curry this weekend.  Kidding, curry is not a tradition here for Thanksgiving, our forefathers were likely not East Indian or from Asia.  Can you imagine East Indian dudes 150 years ago hauling around canoes on their heads and trading beaver pelts for rifle ammunition or hardtack or whatever?

East Indian pioneer General-goods store owner [in best Apu voice]:  “Hey wha the…I tell you one, two, three times …  you cannot bring your horse into my store!  Get your horse out of my store, thanking you very much!  Before you go please be purchase some hard licorice, yes?”

Have you ever wondered why there is a difference between Canadian Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving dates?  Likely not if you’re an American, since you probably weren’t aware there are other Thanksgiving out there.  For example, Mexican Thanksgiving comes on the third Sunday in October and is called “Atahuelxicpo  Day“.  That’s totally bullshit, I just made that up.  But if I didn’t just say it was bullshit, would anyone here tried to have passed turkey through the window to their groundskeepers on Sunday, then also tried to pronounce the holiday name?   “Happy Atta….Atta hoo el – crap, is that ‘x’ a ’sh’ sound?  What the…?  Hey Jorge, happy Mexican Thanksgiving anyways, have some spuds, and don’t forget to rake under the fucking hedge, you keep forgetting to rake under the hedge!”

Anyways, yeah, I have no idea why there’s a difference between the American and Canadian Thanksgiving dates.  Maybe because if us simple northern folks would have waited till November to prepare for winter, we’d have long been dead.  Which would have been good for the greedy expansionist American forefathers, right?  Free water and …uh, space!!  Space to get away and start your own little religious sect that permits you to have 30 wives and seven hundred daughters, who also become your wives!  (Big into pumpkin?  Why yes, move to Utah!)

Now that I’ve pissed off Mexicans, East Indians, Americans, Canadians, Mormons, and likely French people (hey, this wasn’t translated to French, right?  Voulez-vous moi contempt, mon amours!), I feel this blog entry is complete.  Happy Thanksgiving, fellow Canadians, and happy whatever the fuck, non-Canadians!