This morning I was thinking about the Haiti earthquakes and was feeling sad about all of the people that died and were left homeless.

Then I thought about the ham and Swiss sandwich I got from Tim Horton’s last night didn’t have the extra Caesar sauce I requested.  Damn you Tim Horton, I PAID FOR THAT EXTRA SAUCE!!!

Oh wait, no I didn’t pay for it.  Still, I totally asked for more sauce and after a few bites I realized that “Hey, this totally has the normal – or perhaps even less than normal amount of sauce on it!”

To make matters worse with this whole situation, when I ordered a large ham and Swiss last night, they didn’t even have large buns.  They said due to a rule, I had to order TWO smalls to make the same as a large.  With two small sandwiches, that’s like way more sandwich crust involved than in one large sandwich, which is total bullshit.  It’s like saying, “Hey, do you want a couple pieces of hardassed crust with some meat and cheese and a little tiny bit of sauce between them to make up for a large, chewy bun that isn’t totally hard to eat?”

All of this grief and disappointment and tragedy didn’t happen at an entirely fast rate either – at the drive-through it took a few minutes to place the order (waiting for them to slowly write shit down the wrong way, perhaps?) and then at the pickup window there was another long delay, even though there was no one in front of us.

Hello?  Anyone there?  I haven’t eaten in something like hours!  Holy crap Tim Hortons, I drove like five blocks out of my way for this kind of treatment.

So I guess in retrospect, Haiti has nothing to really complain about.  Sure, their little nation has been destroyed, but that’s because of a deal with the devil according to Pat Robertson, so okay – that evens things out between Haiti and I, and Haiti didn’t specifically order a ham and Swiss sandwich with extra sauce and then end up getting a ham and Swiss with like less sauce and in two tiny buns with a whole bunch more hard, crusty surface area.

Right, so I don’t hear CNN making a big deal about my situation yet this morning, but I guess it’s early still.