Lately there’s been a big buzz over Toyota cars exploding or transforming into Gobot overlords and then eating people or something like that. Oh right, their brake pedals stick down, or the accelerators stick down. What happens if they BOTH stick down? You’ve got nothing to complain about in that case then, have you.
No no, that’s not true either, you still have plenty to complain about. Namely, you’re driving a Toyota. I’d be grumbling and complaining all over the place regardless of the state of my brake pedal or accelerator if I had to squish into a stinky little plastic car whose company logo is clearly a symbol of Nazism. Can you see the hidden swastika? I used a different color brush to highlight the swastika they’ve incorporated into it.
If you can’t see it, then you’re an asshole sympathizer. Or an anti-Obama Republican right wing nut.
Speaking of Toyotas, La Toyota Jackson is making her own news these days by claiming something about something about something about something Michael something Michael something Michael something something and somebody was wronged.
Holy fuck, the Jackson clan MUST have used up its quota for invoking the Michael Jackson name already, haven’t they? I expect someone to come out with a Magic: The Gathering or Pokemon trading card version of the Jackson family so that they can just play a Jackson card instead of going through a whole contrived motion of trying to get more money via injustice. Granted, I’ve never played either game so I have no idea of how either would go, but I’d imagine the Jackson version would go something like this:
“Lessee, I have a Tito and Jermaine on the table…that means +2 to my defense plus I’m invulnerable to stone golems, but not fire golems. What’s this? Holy shit dude, you serious? You’re bringing out the Joe Jackson? Oh man…there goes my deck, Joe slaps for 20 points of damage each round and has the ability to absorb all the money on the table and pretty much ruins the game. OH NO, he also has powers that turns any of his offspring into mutants!”
Anyways, that’s about it for this morning. Given my track record lately for posting, that would mean this is all for the next week too, so we’ll see ya later!
La Toyota Jackson. That cracked me right the hell up.
Pffft! I drive a Toyota. It’s not THAT bad. Better than that piece of shit Chevy Berretta I used to be stuck with. And that two pound plastic Fiero as well.
Definitely.
Oh, I’m hereby stealing La Toyota Jackson from you and naming my car.
*sticking out tongue*
What I find to be the most amazing thing is, the breaks on a toyota can’t stall the hamster wheel under the hood.
WTF? If your car has 3 7/8 horsepower, shouldn’t the breaks be able to create enough friction to stop the car at full throttle?
Here’s a better idea. If the throttle gets stuck, forget the brakes and drag your foot out the door, you’ll do doughnuts till it runs out of gas (never). OK, have a passenger do the same and you’ll at least strip out the transmission thereby saving your own life.
Or you could quit panicking and turn the ignition off.
My favorite of the Toyota stories is the ass-hat screaming down the highway talking to 911. Just turn the stupid thing off!!
How can you tell the difference between the real Joe Jackson and his wax version at Madame Tussauds during a heat wave? duh – you can’t, he looks melted already.
Cora, ” that two pound plastic Fiero”? Was that cost or weight? I get confused sometimes when you slip “English” into conversations.
I believe (can’t prove) that Honda is somehow responsible for the Toyota thing. At any rate, the advertising department at Honda is taking the next year off. “Honda — Our Pedals Don’t Stick. Ever.” Done.
Fricken Jacksons….