So there I was, sitting in my office one day thinking, “Self, what could I do to not think of work any more on a regular basis?”
I’d tried looking at porn, which got boring once you realized that the SAME midget was used in each film over and over. Like hey dudes, try getting some new actors - Teeny Giantschlong is a good actor and all, but you know, he’s become the Peter North of gay midget porn, you just get sick of him. (No offense, Teeny.)
Then I thought - hey, I could focus on making money, but realized that involved work and being ambitious and stuff, which I am totally not. Status quo is just fine by me. Unless it involves hatching a scheme to get the nearest meatball sub into my belly.
What else was left? I was sick of playing Peggle on Popcap.com and jeebus, I’d ran my credit card up so high that I couldn’t afford to shop around on eBay for any more secondhand inflatable sex dolls any more. And it’s not like I could travel, given my kidney dialysis/iron lung restrictions.
So I started a blog. Luckily for me, I’m so goddamn drunk that some people might actually find me entertaining and that kept me going all this time.
So here we are, you and I dear reader. Sitting here staring each other in the face, you-trying hard not to slap and insult me, and me-trying hard not to pee myself because I’m just so lazy that I don’t feel like going to the bathroom. I hope you enjoy the blog, and if not, you’re always free to fuck off.
Love,
dopeypants
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12 Comments
Write a Comment»You know you’re kind of hot when you’re nonchalant…
Just when I’m nonchalant? Or sometimes when I’m not?
hmmm that was a nonchalant response. I like it!
I finally figured out how to change my name for posting! Yay.
good luck to you, poo, in your blogging venture! there are some nice tags here, fo’ shizzle.
I found the most amazing midget porn in Vegas - $8 was all it cost me! It had “little people” in many colors, and shapes….sizes. They were dressed up as fairies and witches, anything mystical - quite the plot line. Alas, I gave it to my brother and he became religious and gave it away to a friend. It pains me to think that I don’t know where this movie is now….
Hi i have the gimp and i saw your photoshopped images on here and i wanted to know how you did those photos
Brian: Send me a detailed email about what exactly you want to do and I’ll be glad to help you.
thanks.. what your email
i just wanna know how to make it look like im taking a picture with michale jackson or brett favre… something like that
Jesus. If you can’t find my email address, you’re not a very intrepid student. You’ve failed the first test already.
oh ok i found it.. lol!