>Category Archives:
Around Town
#Real estate agent desperately needing company name#
I saw this dude’s name plastered across some signs on the front lawn of a house on the way home from work tonight. For realsies! Kevin Moist to lovely lady: “Hi, I’m Moist” Lovely lady: “Well, uh, hi, I can’t say I feel the same just yet, maybe if we got to know each other [...]
#LSRFCKHD#
Tonight on my way home from work I was following a vehicle – one with four wheel drive I might add – that had the vanity plate that said: IMARNNER Being the slow-brained person that I am, it took a few moments for me to dechipher. Ohhhhhhh, “I am a runner,” I realized. Then I [...]
#East Indian Food#
On Friday our entire office went out to an East Indian place for lunch to celebrate a longtime co-worker’s departure. It was a buffet. It’s been a long time since I ate East Indian food and I was in the mood for trying out new things, so I pretty much took one scoop of each [...]
#The Christmas Party#
Yesterday the owner of the company I work for invited me to the company Christmas party at his home next week. I don’t know what it is about Christmas parties that I dislike, but yeah, now it’s out there so I guess I have to talk about it. In the past, most of the Christmas [...]
#Confusion Corner#
Sometimes I get adventurous and try alternate routes to get from point A to point B. It’s not that I’m looking for a more pleasant journey, it’s usually because I have to poo or some sort of food is waiting for me at the other end. Or both. But not both as in “I eat [...]
#Rod Peeler#
During the course of my adventures a few days ago, I was parked at the bank. When I left the bank, I noticed a nondescript van parked next to my Ferrari (that’s how I roll) (in my imagination) (which is fully awesome). On the back window of the van, this real estate agent’s name was [...]
#Dear Audi,#
Today I saw one of your cars out on the highway during my Sunday drive. Your logo reminded me of the Olympic rings, but your car reminded me of boiled potatoes: good I suppose, but nothing exciting. So tell me, Audi, where did you come from? Were you a late German addition to the quasi-luxury [...]
#The interview#
Today I had an important meeting somewhere. Okay, a job interview actually, I’m retiring from my home business (fucking loser economy) and getting back into the real world once again which excites me to no end. Really, it does! Granted, I can’t wear my latex gimp suit at work anymore (unless the place is REALLY [...]
#Today’s Idiotic Event: El Wipeout Grande#
Today while at the bank, I wiped out right on my ass. It was spectacular! Two people came running over and asked me if I was alright. I got up, brushed the snow and shame off me, then I punched each of them in the ear. Not very hard though, cause they meant well. No [...]
#Realtors are synonymous with retards#
I don’t know if you get this in your area or not, but here in Western Canada, everywhere you look there is a bench with a realtor’s name all over it. In fact, every stationary object in public usually has some form of advertising featuring a real estate agent’s smug grin on it. Realtors take [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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