>Category Archives:
Bizarre Random Thoughts
#2009 – The Year in Review#
The Big News
2009 was a year of heartbreak and tragedy – especially for fans of Michael Jackson, but was also a year of hope and recovery – especially for children in the proximity of Michael Jackson. 2009 was also a year of financial difficulty and economic turmoil – especially for the parents of [...]
#Christmas movie rant#
Tis the season for shitty Christmas movies! Yes, today’s already a year later than it was exactly one year ago, and one year ago it was the same thing as it is today – cold, snowy, dark, and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation has aired non-stop for the last week on every single fucking channel.
Have you [...]
#World’s most famous cavemen#
Unfrozen Caveman lawyer
Robert Pattinson
The Geico Guy
Fred Flintstone
#When you take your kids to “Where the Wild Things Are” and they ask why the movie is so sad, you say:#
…it’s because God and baby Jesus don’t like you and your whooping cough that never seems to go away despite the 30 different doctors we’ve visited, and also your bastard daddy who put me through a 17 hour labor only to find a year later that he only likes blonds, not brunettes like mommy is, [...]
#I’ll donate when you pry the money from my cold, dead hands!#
If you’re a new visitor to this blog, the first thing you need to know about this blog is that I’m totally into hating stuff here.
This is my little place in the universe to be a complete asshole and not care about how I sound, who I offend, or how many people I made cry. [...]
#Random Thoughts #670#
I just came from having a pee in the bathroom*.
While I was doing my business, I glanced up at the wall and watched a fly glancing right back at me, rubbing its front legs together very very slowly, as if it were thinking, “I’m going to play Grand Theft Auto on your Xbox when you’re [...]
#Holy shit, I’m about to admit I’ve watched chick-o-vision!#
Look at the price I’m going to pay for a few chuckles (if that – I doubt I’m going to land in any particular gender’s humor zones with this post – but fuck it, I’m living like I’m David Hasselhoff in a great cheeseburger eating contest – no fear!) Yes, the price I’m going to [...]
#News from the bi-annual haircut#
I went and got my hair cut today. I hate getting my haircut with the passion of ten thousand Bonos simultaneously singing about African debt. But not because of the act of getting my hair cut, it’s because of the motherfucking hair cutters who refuse to let you just sit there silently and enjoy a [...]
#Riddle me this!#
Q: What has an IQ of seven hundred thousand and likes fucking Kevin Bacon?
A: Kyra Sedgwick!
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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