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Category Archives: Google And Its Users Provide Me With Unlimited Amusement

Google Search Term of the week!

i want my panties to be ripped off

If you click on the link, you’ll have a extra-funny image search term result!

Google Search Term o’ the Week!

pic of jamie foxx at plies consent holding his self and looking at plies

Yes, I’m sure there’s some cryptic meaning to this search term.  Maybe ‘plies’ is some sort of fancy club in Hollywood or something, I don’t know.  I’m going to consider it as a typo though, because it’s much funnier that way.

On to point number two:  In this day and age we can send people into outer space to live for months at a time, we can tear apart someone’s DNA and see that they’re likely going to forget their keys and call their children wrong names a lot as they get older.  But we can’t educate vast scores of people not to say “his self”?  Something’s wrong here.

Third:  WTF?

Fourth:  Jesus, I lost my breakfast thinking of Jamie Foxx standing anywhere, looking at anything, and “holding himself”.

Fourth-point-five:  Since when did Jamie Foxx start asking for people’s consent to do anything?

Fifth:  WTF again?  I just Googled ‘Plies’ just to see what came up.  Here’s what came up:

I … I … just can’t make any sense of it all.  Someone, please, anyone - decipher this for me?  What in the pop culture world happened to prompt someone to use this search term???  I’m going to be sick if someone caught Jamie Foxx rubbing the little smiling Buddha while looking at a picture of this dude at some sort of night club called “Consent”.

What people are looking for when they came here as of last week:

Images:

chupacabra
Sebastian Bach
La Chupacabra
avril
Cat people
penelope cruz
black friday walmart death
people in France
walmart death
mime
which is bigger the moon an elephant
elephant bigger than moon
ladies of walmart
Penelope Cruz.
elephant fuck
Sebastian Bach,
large hadron collider
cabbage roll
people from France
fidel castro
stupid chiuaua
Largest asshole
flight of the phoenix
trailer park boys cat
long slow fuck
pretty
fluffy the cat that hates everything
vote for me
chupa cabra
psycho guy
harpy
walmart
redhead thread obama
hilarious funny crazy
walmart black friday death
mortal kombat vs dc united
dennis hopper in diner
redneck cock
housewives at walmart
murderd kids
Dolph Lundgren
rednecks kentuckey
is gerbiling real?
walmart door death
naked mormon
Dolph Lundgren Fakes
robin williams
k2 summit
walmart humor
nice tats
don johnson miami vice
sarah palin naked

Regular ol’ Google searches:

rate me naked
home outfitter massage
woman fucked by elephant
“hillary clinton nude pics”
massage chairs home outfitters
eskimo sex pics
portugal sucks
how do u get lung butter
women fucked from elephant
babysitter funny sex
naked Dolph Lungren
eskimosex.com
ranting about something
how much money do u make per porn scene
women in diapers fucked
beautiful bollywood, porn
naked eskimo nude
fake bollywood porn
women in diapers sex pics
bored and horny blog
naked hermaphrodite pics
fake pictures of tea leoni
Sarah Palin nude lesbian sex story
I had sex with my babysitter
~duch porn
Charlie Sheen naked
naked photoo of inter parts of vagina
Fraternization by George Luz,
Shannon Caicedo feet
inuit sex pdf
christmas massage thoughts
Naked Photoshop Constance Marie
FREE ESK?MO SEX PHOTO
shittem on pees
is it normal to shit at night?
dolph lundgren naked porn pics
nude diapers
free inuit sex pics
james bond Bibi Dahl
dolph lundgren nude
nude inuit
fuck you is poor taste
terrence trent darby on oprah
just fukin with the mind
dolph lungren naked
nude inuit sex
handshaking phobia
that fuck “ex girlfriends ”
lesbian women in diapers
dolph lungren nude
nude scene with Dolph Lundgren
hermaphrodite sex pic
why portuguese people sucks
marcia macmillan swearing
dos equis sound board
poorly photoshopped images

I’ve put my favorites in bold. Who the hell searches for “inuit sex pdf’s” and “shittem on pees”???

Google Search term of the day!

can a scab on the eardrum cause me to hear a roaring noise in my ear

Ding ding ding!  We have a winner!

Top Google search of the week!

alfonso ribeiro shirtless

Despite Alfonso Ribeiro probably not being the most sought-after hunk on most women’s (or men’s for that matter) list, this searcher has clearly defined their own sense of sexiness;  “To hell with Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and Tom Sellek.  I want to see Carlton rip his motherfuckin’ Polo shirt off!!” “Those dimples make me shuck my panties!”  “I want to see Tom Jones, but a more culturally diverse, breasty, and less hairy version without his shirt on.”

Top Google search term of the week!

It is with great pride that I bring you the most awesome Google search term leading to my blog this week:

deepest vigina photo

One can only imagine what this searcher was thinking…

“Where is the world’s deepest vigina?”

“Have scientists ever reached the bottom of the world’s deepest vigina?”

“Does the world’s deepest vigina reach all the way to China?”

“If not, what lives in the world’s deepest vigina?”

“Hey, ‘vigina’ rhymes with ‘China’.”

“Are there pictures of the world’s deepest vigina?”

Your answers, dearest searcher, are likely found underneath Paris Hilton’s latest fashionable and expensive skirt right next to the world’s deepest … anis.

It just never gets old for me

My favorite Google searches from the past 24 hours include (I stripped out all the usual suspects, like Dolph Lundgren naked and stuff, they’re getting boring):

  • “shakey shake”

More than three times and it’s called “Playing with it.”

  • going to have to pass

Yeah, me too.

  • things i learned in florida

Don’t touch Cubans, they hate that.

  • charlie sheen’s cock

I wonder if this person was ever successful?

  • Hermaphrodite FUCKED

The all-caps word “FUCKED” kinda scares me.  Does Google sense your excitement level and um, make the searched turn out better for you?

  • video of man punching cow

Don’t do that in India.

  • picture then about me on the side

I’ll picture you however the hell I want, thanks.

  • what will george bush do after his presidencay

Probally rite buks.

  • how much you make being a prone star

Not as much as if you were upright or stretched out horizontally.

  • PLUX PORTUGAL

Plux them ALL, right in the ass!!!

  • what you should charge to do stand up comedy

Expenses?

  • WHERE THE HELL IS THE PANIC BUTTON

Right next to…no..ack..not that…Jesus, you hit the CHARLIE SHEEN COCK BUTTON!

  • cunt stabbing

Kids these days.  I thought ‘cutting’ was loony, but they just keep on surprising me.

  • diaperd woman in fiction stories

Why not REAL stories?  People just aren’t easily satisfied these days.

  • jesus died as a perfect subtitute

For baking powder?

  • “ok where the hell is the panic button”

GAH, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHARLIE SHEEN COCK BUTTON!!

  • bollywoodporn fake

Seriously, why don’t people look for the real thing?

  • serious women in diaper

Oh, nevermind my last comment, this guy is serious.

  • how to take a shit while camping

Probably out of your eyeballs.  Jesus.  Why are people so fucking retarded?

  • war jennifer anston angelina

Congress just passed another $100 billion this year to “stay the course”.

  • I will have to pass on this one

Me too, again.

Today’s awesome google search terms

  • things to do on friday

Visit this blog, watch a porno, eat some chips, cry to yourself about something that happened in grade 5, then fall asleep and hope that if tonight’s the night you finally suffocate on your pillow, let it be painless.

  • nude eskimo photo

I have so many here.

  • “they’re just very cruel people”

Did they hurt your feelings?

  • steve mcqueen”nude”

Why did this person put quotation marks around ‘nude’?  These are the sort of things I wonder, not really about the Steve McQueen part.

  • free vids sexually active hermaphrodites

“Sexually active” makes me think of them as robots now.  Way to go.

  • nude inuit

Lalalalalalala, I can’t hear you any more.

  • bet’ scammer

Hey!  I resent the accusation, whatever it is!

  • terrence trent darby girlfriends

Do I sense a jealous present girlfriend?

  • fuck movie bollywood porn

Yeah, fucking it please.  Fucking it RIGHT INTO THE ASS.

  • only for geeks

I think my blog readers are pretty cool actually.

  • BOLLYWOOD PORN M

RIGHT AFTER THE L PORN THANKING YOU VERY MUCHING.

  • The coolest words ever

“Fiddlesticks,” “dungarees,” and “snivel.”

  • hilary clinton nude fake

Yawn.

  • only sites of fake hillary clinton nude pics

Whoops, I bet YOU’RE pissed now, huh searcher?

  • bruised ass

When sex gets out of control, try ICY HOT.

  • the other side of normal

Here you are!

  • HILARY CLINTON PHOTOSHOP NUDE

I’m getting horny just thinking about it.

  • prince charles birthday satyre

There was a bit of that going on today, yes.  Wait, “satyre”??  Aren’t those those little bastards that are half-goat half-human and play the pan flutes and run around praising Hercules?

  • cameltoeus

Better than vaginacephaly.

  • hillary clinton nude fake

Why don’t they look for the REAL pictures ever?

  • prince harry nude

Popular with the 16 year old British girls and gay 52 year old men.

  • top 10 funny things to do on friday

Visit this blog, watch a porno, eat some chips, cry to yourself about something that happened in grade 5, then fall asleep and hope that if tonight’s the night you finally suffocate on your pillow, let it be painless.  Again.

  • how to make a word verification

Learn PHP and the PHP Gd library functions.  But you need to make sure your server has the GD installed on it.  Generate a bunch of random letters together, then use imagettftext (args) to write the text to an image.  Use a $_POST to receive a string from the user, then compare it to the random letters.  If it’s successful, call your function to do whatever you want to do next.  If it’s unsuccessful, create a function to restart the entire process, but don’t forget to collect the states of all the form items on the page, or the person will have to type them all in again if you reload the page on them.  Also, I’m just talking out of my ass.

  • prince harry real father

Delta Burke.

  • captains cocks

First mates everywhere feel like they’re being overlooked.

  • What did Angelina Jolie say that offended Jennifer Aniston

I’m waiting for the punch line….

  • i hate fashion shirts

Me too.  I hate shirts altogether.  Topless is the way to go.

  • random shit to say

Chicken grubs ferreting door buzz jamb icicle froth.

  • Charlie Sheen naked

What sort of person searches for Charlie when Brad or Matt is out there on the net?

  • why winnipeg is the real capital of canada

I hate to break it to you - it’s not.

  • recent murders in canada 2008

Nothing at all to do with me.

  • cnn election live blog

I couldn’t handle it, I got halfway through and fell asleep.  Sorry searcher.  PS:  It’s not going to be live anymore.

  • with me against me on the other side of the room

Self love?  Sounds passionate, all flailing around like that.

  • I’ve noticed everything

Shit, I was trying to be discrete.

  • rod peeler

Mnnnhmmm.

  • colored map election results 2008

Lindsay Lohan searching the net for the election results.

  • let the quebec liberals know what you think about their stupid snow tire law

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

  • say the word shit videos

“Shit videos” is two words.

  • eskimo nude

I love me some Inu-poon.  Do you know what the Inuqtituq word for sex is?  “Panniqnirtungniqktuktiktirtuqmiktuqniqtaqniuktuk”, which is why there aren’t a lot of Eskimos around.  By the time they got around to saying “Let’s shag”, they would be asleep.

My favorite Google searches today!

  • are random thoughts normal

I’m not even sure what to say to this.  No, wait, it’s Satan whispering to you.  Don’t listen!

  • is it normal to through up shit

You mean ‘throw’?  If that’s the case, then the resounding answer is NO.  You should be pooping shit DOWN, out of your bum, fool.

  • trailer park boys erection

It happens to the best of us.  Bubbles gets me hard every time.

  • Microsoft Word for your letters & shit

You should also get Quicken for your accounting and payroll fucking crap.

  • mortgaje

If you spell mortgage like this, you shouldn’t be allowed to have one.

  • why love bitches

Because they’ll love you back.

  • women fucked by elephant

Notice that this is plural?  This fellow isn’t happy with just one.  No wonder Dumbo was always smiling.

  • corpse photo

Love. Ly.  Try www.rotten.com and don’t ask me how I know.

  • coughing lung butter

It goes nice on garlic toast.  You and the guy looking for corpses should hang out.

  • doctors of cock

Physicians of penis, eh?  [man bursts into the room] “Did anyone call for a doctor of cock??”

  • pasta lcd halloween

Probably a poor screen resolution on one of these.

  • fake naked pics of hillary clinton getting fucked

What’s the matter, can’t handle the REAL pictures?  Pussy.

  • guy ritchie don’t believe in kabbalah

And you don’t believe in proper grammar, amigo.

  • shhh quiet i think somebody’s here

What?  I don’t hear anything.  Is it Freddy Krueger?  Freddy Mercury?  What?  WHERE?!?!? AHHHHHHHH!

Blogging Dreams and Google Searches

You know when you blog too much when you start having dreams about your blog.

This morning I had a dream that this blog was featured on US magazine’s web site and while all the traffic started rolling in I was watching the stats keep changing on my screen.  Wow, 14,000,000 viewers today!

Although that’s quite a far cry from reality, the following search terms DID happen to send a pile of visitors my way yesterday:

bush congratulatory call obama - You read it here first.

nude eskimo - This has to be one of the most popular search terms that led people here in the history of this blog.  WTF is it with people looking up nude eskimos these days?  Maybe with global warming we’re going to see a bunch more skin of these northern folk, so people are getting curious?  Either way, I need to start an Eskimo porn site.

are silly thing real - What the hell?  You can’t even form a sentence dude, so I imagine silly things seem quite real to a person of your intellect.

feminine issues - #1 issue with women is chick flicks.  Why does every 2nd movie need a romantic plot to it?  Don’t they get sick of them?  Jeeze, I don’t know.

palin victory speech - Haha, sucka!  There was no victory!  She had her loser speech ready to go on election night however, but she didn’t even get to use THAT.  STFU princess!

ask ouija board - Q: “Will my BF leave me?”  A:  “Yes.”  Q: “Why am I crying so hard?”  A: “Because you believe in ouija boards.”

find things in pictures that don’t belong the game - Okay, just shut up.

postsecret.COM OBAMA - He wrote a postcard saying “I hope the voting public accepts me for who I am on the inside…. and not because I have two immense cocks.”

bollywood porn blog - “Rani, I am did liking to put my penis in your anus.  Come again!”

gallery women in diaper - This is a very poopular search term here.


prince harry balding -
It’s a crisis!  Not so ‘harry’ after all, are ya?


I AM ON THE OTHER SIDE -
What does it feel like to be on my lap?


rephresh -
mnn, pine tree smell.


bush congratulatory phone call -
“Oblama!!  Congrats!  Are you on our side or theirs?  I wasn’t payin attention!”


I’m afraid of scotch tape -
You’re not alone.  Each year millions of people are affected by scotchtapeobia and we’re seeing the levels of this fear reach epidemic proportions.


robin williams interview -
“Hey, let’s forget this interview and snort some coke.  You got any?  No?  Wanna get drunk then?  Look, I can tie my arm hair in a knot!”


Bush’s comments to Obama about it’s awesome dude -
I know it is!


infantitus -
The disease of being pregnant.  Don’t worry searcher, it usually goes away in 9 months.


stroke nut gay blogs -
I dunno about you, but my nuts don’t like to be stroked.  Don’t touch those things!  They’re only there for hideous decoration purposes!


canadian murder capital of canada -
As opposed to the American murder capital of Canada?


mormon slut -
They’re pretty much like a regular slut except they’re doing it for Jesus.  Lots.


terrence trent darby nude -
I shudder to think of what gender might surface in such an event.


Dolph Lundgren naked -
Why not Jean Claude Van Damme?


my election results -
Yours are probably the same as everyone else’s, slowpoke.


You’ll love it. It’s a lot of fun bush Obama phone call -
I know I will!!  I wrote it!


drinking and your face -
I keep getting better looking every day your alcoholism increases, luv.


nerd trivia -
Why did Greedo confront Han Solo in Star Wars?  Because you’re a fucking idiot, that’s why.


election results map -
A nice hue of Terence Trent D’arby green.


november 4, 2008 louisiana election results-
Another victory for K-Fed in your district!


felching club
- Are there really clubs for felching?  I guess you need a partner for it after all.  Head down to the baptist church basement on Friday night and you might get lucky.