>Category Archives:
Just Random Blathering
#Just a reminder…#
The winter Olympics may be over, but they’re not really over. You see, we tend to forget the other Olympics – the Paranormal Winter Olympics – that are just about to start on the heels of the last 17 days.
To be honest, I’m never really sure what happens during the Paranormal Olympics. In the regular [...]
#Briefing Notes From the Nondescript White Guy Organization Western Chapter Branch Meeting#
At the most recent meeting of the WNGO (White Nondescript Guy Organization), it was voted unanimously that Jeremy Piven remain as the leader of the Northern Hemisphere’s assimilation branch.
The motion to popularize receding dark hairlines and 5 o’clock shadow was also passed once again, with seven votes ‘for’, one ‘against’, and three abstaining.
Highlights of the [...]
#Modern day hero#
There aren’t many venues for the common man to become a hero these days.
There are no great feudal wars where someone can kill our wives and children and we can kung-fu our way to the top honcho to get bloody revenge. Yeah, law and civilization and cops and machine guns and kevlar killed that way [...]
#What defines me?#
I get this question a lot. See, I’m often in social situations where I put myself in the center of attention and people are fascinated by me.
Hmm, so what defines Danno?
Let’s see. Giving gifts. Yes, I’m a great gift giver. Just the other day I called a coworker a dumbass. What better gift to give [...]
#Points to ponder#
If almost every single country is in debt, mostly to other countries, then which country is the one that has all the money to lend out? I want to live in THAT country. I bet it’s like this:
Or like this:
But probably not like this:
Why not like this? Because anyone knows that if there is a [...]
#How I categorize famous people#
People I’d like to punch
People I’d like to have a coffee with
People I’d sleep with
James Woods
James Spader
Tori Spelling
Aaron Spelling’s corpse
John Madden
Joel Madden
Anderson Cooper
Wolf Blitzer
Jon Bon Jovi
J. Craig Venter
anyone in Cleveland
anyone in Dallas
Tom Cruise
Tom Arnold
Dr. Fred Dyer
Dr. Oz
Frank Miller
People that drink Miller Lite
Tupac’s corpse
Snoop Doggy Dog
Lil’ Kim
Lil’ Wayne
Gene Simmons
Richard Simmons
Drew Carey
Drew Barrymore
Meatloaf
Simon & Garfunkel
Bob [...]
#Things I wonder…#
Sometimes I daydream of getting a fake passport somehow and living under the name Ivan Mendelev in some tropical country like Dominica or Switzerland. Yes, Switzerland is tropical, don’t argue with me. I’m the decider.
Anyways, wouldn’t that be great? Hell, while I’m getting that, whoever is forging the stuff for me might as well go [...]
#Cringeworthy occasions#
One time my entire family on my mother’s side was having a meal at a hotel restaurant to celebrate the wedding of my cousin. His wife was straight out of Japan and her stiff professional-looking parents were also attending this dinner. Perhaps you’re familiar with the scene: a dimly lit private room the waitresses avoid [...]
#Coffee whitener: What makes it so special and explosive?#
I love coffee whitener. You know, the white powdered stuff that you pour in a pile on the counter at halloween, stick your face in, dress up like a 70’s disco king, then wander around trying to fight drunk people and screaming “SAY HULLO TO MY LIL FRIEN’”.
What do you mean you don’t do that? [...]
#“Nap Discount” plus Crazy Rambling#
Crap.
I just had a really hard nap tonight and now I’m afraid I’m never going to get to sleep in a couple of hours.
I call this a “Nap Discount” because you’re really just taking that hour that you napped…okay, two hours, from the total sleep you have later in the evening. You’re not gaining any [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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