>Category Archives:
Me trying to get you to do something constructive (for me)
#I lied. I said I would never blog about how much sports suck again, but look ! There’s more!#
Apart from being an awesome humanitarian with my most recent invention, the “Homeless People Gas Chamber Decoy Liquor Store” (eff you and your narrow Nobel prize win, Obama, I’m solving homelessness!), I’m also an awesome judge of blog content. Yes, I write blogs AND I also read them – but not just read them like [...]
#Egg McMuffin Petition#
Click here to sign the Egg McMuffin petition to make them available after noon or whenever they put away their griddle factory thingies. Or click the ‘Egg’ button on the menu at the bottom of the screen. You know you want to. Bah da bap ba baaahh!
#What Poobomber REALLY wants next Christmas…#
This. http://www.desktopfactory.com/ I have no idea what I’d make with it, but I’d be a busy kid after I got this for sure. I’d probably start with making plastic ninja throwing stars, then after a couple of days I’d be fabricating parts for my time machine, I’m sure. Can you imagine having one of these? [...]
#Christmas-y type stuff!#
I’m planning a big Christmas project this weekend – something special for all of you! I’ll require your help though – what do each of you want for Crimmas? Leave your wishes in the comments and I’ll see if I can incorporate them into what I’m thinking of doing. *note: I reserve the right to [...]
#Hey! How’s it going?#
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet today, but you look great! Seriously! That thing you did with your hair? Nice job – it looks professional. And those clothes? Fetching. Too bad about your nose though. I realize that you can’t do anything about it, but despite it all you still look good. [...]
#Awesomeness#
I’d just like to toot my own horn here for a brief moment. Some of you awesome people have gone the extra mile for me, tossing me votes left and right all over Humor-Blogs.com. For that, you have my undying love because… …look! I’m the second biggest geek ever! And in the Crude Blog category, [...]
#Things for you to do on a dull Friday afternoon:#
Change the Bitch Board. C’mon, this lady needs a nice new sign! Find out whether or not you’re a badass blogger – if you have a blog, that is. See if you’re an internet retard. See if the people whose blog you’ve linked to love you back. Find out how much you’d make if you [...]
#Tell me your Halloween story and win a prize!#
I’d like to hear everyone’s halloween story from last night! Did you make an ass of yourself? Did you kidney punch any kids dressed like God? Did you steal any kids candy? The best halloween story wins a customized picture from me to you. *Contest closes whevenever I feel like it. **No purchase necessary. ***Contest [...]
#Things To Do This Friday Afternoon:#
Candy is having a contest featuring the funniest damn comments that you’ve ever received on your blog. If someone left a kickass comment on your blog, you need to go there and submit it. Go now! Stop fucking around! I’m serious! Then come back here and tell me a sick story. You have ALL weekend.
#Something I’ve Noticed…#
Today there seems to be a curious lack of posting on your part. As your lord and whipmaster, I hereby declare that you need to start posting some entries for me to read. If you feel more comfortable posting pictures of yourself involving ‘entries’, by all means, do so. I can’t guarantee I’ll react appropriately [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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---Get Crackin'---
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