>Category Archives:
My own favorites of me
#God Answers Your Prayers#
Hello children of …me! Ever wonder late at night when you’re kneeling next to your bed and praying quietly to yourself why I don’t answer? You DO pray to me every night, don’t you? Well okay, how about at Church then? Oh, you don’t go to church anymore since the pastor touched your hoo-hah [...]
#The Pope is in da house#
Pope calls for ’sovereign Palestinian homeland’ during Bethlehem visit
While in Palestine this week, the Pope reiterated his desire to see an independent Palestine.
"Mr. President, the Holy See supports the right of your people to a sovereign Palestinian homeland in the land of your forefathers, secure and at peace with its neighbours, within internationally recognized [...]
#Mother#
When you grow up like I did, you learn the value of a good mother.
We lived in a far-away region of Europe, I don’t even think the place had a name. It was as far-removed from the world as a place could be. In fact, we would only see our nearest neighbour once or [...]
#A Monkey Ate My Conscience#
BREAKING NEWS
As of writing, Steven Hawking is in the hospital and gravely ill. We here at TOSON wish him the best, but we wish ourselves even better and want to beat the rush and pay him tribute in case the inevitable happens (like tonight or something).
Everyone has read Steven Hawking’s works – we’re all familiar [...]
#Smarty people talking about ‘love’#
I lifted this from here and added my own expert comments:
1. Say “I love you” every day
Barbara De Angelis, personal-development expert: Say it as often as possible. There’s no reason to be emotionally stingy with the person you love.
Nancy Kalish, psychologist: I agree that it should be said often, but it should be said sincerely, [...]
#The three month review#
My three month review at work is due. Although I consider myself to be doing a fantastic job – heck, I go the whole day without falling asleep or masturbating at my desk and there should be some sort of award for that, I really want to pull off something magical before reminding people that [...]
#I want to be a survivor too.#
Remember the story of the plane load of Bangladeshi soccer players that crashed in the Swiss Alps on route to a big soccer game in Australia? (Screw details – details are for nerds.) They survived by eating the dead (in some cases their own relatives), which is as mundane for me as cheese but still, [...]
#Interview with Bush#
Transcripts from the first post-election interview with GWB:
Good morning President Bush, thank you for coming.
Yeh, I’m still the president I guess! Thanks for havin’ me! Nice shirt y’got there, is that Armandi? I had one of them once, thing never seemed to stay dry.
Uh, let’s get down to the interview shall we? First of all, [...]
#An Essay On Why Dr. Zibbs and I Should Be BFF’s#
Yesterday, Dr. Zibbs announced that he would be having a contest to decide who would be his BFF by getting them to describe the perfect day with him. I submitted the following entry, but this morning I decided to up my game by adding pictures. I really want to win this contest!
In lieu of his [...]
#Star Wars: Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood of the Galactic Rebellion#
Excerpts from the award winning movie series.
Luke Skywalker: You betrayed me! I can’t believe I trusted you!
Princess Leia: Relax, it was just a KISS. And you said you didn’t even LIKE him!
Luke: Yeah, but you now what that means, that means I LIKE HAN SOLO! Helllloooo?? That doesn’t mean you should go and sleep with [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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---Get Crackin'---
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