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Nostalgia

#Oh shit, happy nine one one Bememberance Day!#

Today is a day that will live in infamy…. that is, until something awesomely cancelley happens on this day in the future, like perhaps Jesus rises from the dead.  Or descends from the Heavens?  Up or down, one or the other I’d expect.  He’d totally fuck me up if he moved laterally, like “Hey, Jesus [...]

#My First Car#

ReformingGeek posted a story about her first car and asked us what our first car was.
I had long forgotten about my first official vehicle (I had exclusively drove a million others, but this was the first one that I actually owned) and I was 17 years old.  It was a 1978 Warlock – the coolest [...]

#Genocide – appropriate in some cases: Smurfs#

A former Rwandan army colonel has been sentenced to life in prison by a United Nations court for his role in the 1994 Rwanda genocide.
International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda Judge Erik Moses said Theoneste Bagosora was “guilty of genocide and crimes against humanity and war crimes.”
via Life sentence for former Rwandan colonel convicted of genocide.
Let [...]

#Retro world#

This weekend I happened to leave the house.  Yes, I know, that’s hard to believe but it’s TRUE!
I behaved like a good consumer too.  Know what I bought for $1.99 at a Salvation Army Store?  An Intellivision controller!
Huh?
It’s a video game controller joystick thingy but has all sorts of Intellivision video games built right into [...]

#Dear God it’s Marty Again#

I keep getting this spam email every few weeks.  Marty Santini sure wants me to declare friendship.
I like how it says “Please respond or your friend will think you said no” and then a little sad facey.  I feel bad not getting back to him/her, but I think I can live with myself if I [...]

#A silly thing I do….#

Whenever I get to any destination, I always sing the beginning of this Silver Spoons theme song and insert my own lyrics for whoever I happen to be with.
Like:
“Here we are – at the store, we’re going to buy some eggs…”
or
“Here we are – at the house, we’re going to watch some porn…”
I just realized [...]

#The interview#

Today I had an important meeting somewhere.  Okay, a job interview actually, I’m retiring from my home business (fucking loser economy) and getting back into the real world once again which excites me to no end.
Really, it does!
Granted, I can’t wear my latex gimp suit at work anymore (unless the place is REALLY good to [...]

#Princess Di – The blog entry that makes me a horrible person#

I’m sure my previous post made people, particularly those people with vaginas where their penises should be, gasp in horror.
That was my intention because I love poor taste, especially when it’s MY poor taste.  I know, I know, Princess Diana should be off-limits because she was a hero to many people and she was such [...]

#Rip Yo Pantes#

I once live in a place where nearby there was a ‘club’ called “Rip Yo Pantes”.  Yes, there was an ‘e’ at the end of ‘pant’, followed by an ’s’.
It was in the Caribbean, and the locals weren’t so good at English with their Spanish national language and everything.  But they tried.  The sign was [...]

#James Bond: The Unfathomable Sexual Advances#

I was watching a few of the old James Bond movies last night – Goldfinger, Thunderball, and Moonraker – and I learned an important thing about getting women to like you:  you need to be a practitioner of rape.
Seriously, in three movies I’m sure James Bond committed 9 acts of sexual assault and if a [...]

#The Insultatron#

#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#

@Where do my bitches come from?@

@Categories@

>Disclaimer

Everything here is a work of satire and fiction. Any resemblances to people, alive or dead, real or fictional, is purely coincidence even if it looks like it's not, or even when I explicitly say it's not, because I have poor judgement.

If you find this blog offensive, please leave and never come back, ever. Returning if you're offended is about the most retarded thing you can do.

If you're here to build a court case against me, fuck off. You're not allowed to be here.

Before you jihad me, realize that I don't even believe the things I say. For real. It's all a big sham. Thanks for visiting though.
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