>Category Archives:
Rock Stars Are Retards
#Steven Tyler – MIA#
The greatest mystery facing humankind today is not “Why is the universe is expanding?” or heck, even “What happens when I stick this fork in a toaster?” It’s “What the fuck happened to Steven Tyler?” apparently. See, a week or two ago, Mr. Tyler fell off a stage during a concert. Apparently it happens to [...]
#Reasons why you should learn English (or Spanish, or French, or any language other than German)#
Q: How do you become a major pop music superstar when it sounds like you’re gagging on a sock that jumped down your throat? A: You don’t.
#Billy Bob Thornton: Douchebag Crazy Lunatic Princess#
Read this first, it’s hilarious! Interviewer: So, Billy Bob, thank you for coming in to talk to us this morning! Billy Bob Thornton: What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Interviewer: Uh, what? BBT: Didn’t you just call me a scar-faced monkey? Interviewer: Uh no, we haven’t even started talking yet. Interjecting band member: [...]
#Elvis, notes from writing “Always On My Mind”#
Maybe I didn’t treat you To looking at me for eight hours straight To five banana and peanut butter sandwiches Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn’t love you As much as I loved myself Because I was too busy loving girls backstage Quite as often as I could have Little things [...]
#Why I’m not a movie producer/director/best boy#
I think if I were filming a documentary about polar bears and got on to the subject of how polar bears have evolved to be almost perfectly white to suit their environment which of course obscures them, it would be really funny and probably somewhat relevant to mention the Nelsons at that point.
#Morning ponderings#
It’s mornings like these (rainy, dark, senile) when I wonder what Ted Nugent is up to right now. Is he hiding behind a bush with his gun, staring down a rabid killer deer, breathing heavily, counting to ten before making his move? Or is he curled up in his big cozy bed, reading “Chicken Soup [...]
#Motley Crue: The secret umlauts#
Ever wonder what the hell those umlauts were for above the ‘o’ and ‘u’ in Motley Crue? Were they there to make a difference in the pronounciation of the words? Were they there to just look cool? Were members of the group German? Or were they just trying to deliver some sort of important secret [...]
#Princess Di – The blog entry that makes me a horrible person#
I’m sure my previous post made people, particularly those people with vaginas where their penises should be, gasp in horror. That was my intention because I love poor taste, especially when it’s MY poor taste. I know, I know, Princess Diana should be off-limits because she was a hero to many people and she was [...]
#Dancing Shows#
Last night was like the worst night for watching TV…EVER. Every channel seemed to have some fucking horrible variation of one of those dance competition shows on. Gad, it was like being on the beaches of Normandy with all that horrible pain and suffering and body parts flying everywhere. The following table shows exactly what [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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---Mediocre Bitches---
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---Get Crackin'---
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