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#Presidents and technology#
According to the news, yesterday marked the first time in history that a president ‘tweeted’.
Far from being excited about the embrace of new technology by people in positions where embracing new technology usually means ‘approving laser guided robot spy hackers,’ or ‘assfucking communism with a new type of nuclear rocket that like expands and stuff [...]
#Holy Shit, it’s back to work!#
Hello fine citizens of the internet, is today the day you’re back at the office/school/truck stop to make a few bucks?
Yeah, I’m back at work today myself, and I totes squandered my holidays over the last couple of weeks. There were all sorts of things I procrastinated about from like September, “Yeah, when I [...]
#2000 – 2010, A Decade In Review#
Overview
2000: Can’t remember
2001: Awesome
2002-2007: Moderately sucky
2007-2009: Awesome
Special Memories
Whenever it was ‘Friends’ finally went off the air: Awesome
Times of the day when ‘Friends’ hasn’t been on TV since then (5 occasions): Awesome
Notable Days
Sept 11, 2001: Holy fuck, great margaritas on the beach.
Sept 12, 2001: Terrorists? Let’s move on, [...]
#God: On quitting smoking#
I’m pretty quiet lately, that’s because I’ve giving up smoking after 17 years of doing it and all I can do is sleep and barely-function. I’ve got one of those tampons that supply little doses of nicotine, so at least now there’s no craving for a ciggy and the habitual hand-to-mouth-gestures has been squashed.
The problem [...]
#Is your internet working right now?#
yes
fucker
#Drive-through impulses#
Just a note for companies out there: Drive-Through is spelled “Drive-Through”, not “Drive-Thru”. I’m not sure if you were aware or maybe you just had the same meatheads on staff that spell it “Late-Nite…” If you put the two together and get “Late-Nite Drive-Thru”, that’s punishable by death. Just FYI, again.
While we’re on the subject [...]
#Comfort Wipe: My Ass!#
There have been many days, usually after sleeping on an unfamiliar bed, that I would have liked one of these. However, I think stumbling into someone’s bathroom and seeing one of these things perched against the crapper might make me cringe thinking about where it’s been.
#I just wanted to let you know that David Bowie still sucks.#
Yeah, he hasn’t changed a bit. Someone ought to fist his nostrils.
I know I’m not going to make any friends by saying all this, but the Beatles also suck, they’re a bunch of moronic simpletons. Elvis was a big midwife fop bag, whatever that means. Lynryd Sykyrd was a fucking steamy pile of shit, and [...]
#Calling in sick for all the right reasons and not because I’m some sort of pussy with a sore throat#
Hey! Today I’m working from home!
Yesterday before I left work, I stopped in to my bosses office, plopped in the chair and said “I’m calling in sick tomorrow.”
His response was, “Fucker!” because I’m in perfect health (from a non-clinical standpoint anyways, I’m sure my lungs and cholesterol levels disagree), and he at first thought I [...]
#Star Trek Should Be Banned!#
While reading the reviews of the new Star Trek movie, I came across this website for parents who feel that good parenting is pre-emptive censoring or preparing what their children see, rather than taking what life offers and dealing with it afterwards. I thought it was frikking hilarious on so many different levels, so I [...]
#Top Commenters (For Whom I Reserve The Hugest Erections)#
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